Neil Crone - Enter Laughing

Multi-tasker of the Month...

 

The Multi-tasker of the Month Award for February has to go to 39 year old Genine Compton of Kettering, Ohio.  Ms. Compton was spotted breast-feeding her two year old while chatting on a cell phone...while driving...a car.  Not one to waste time on small talk, obviously a woman who likes to get things done, she responded to the questioning police officer that "...she wouldn't let her child go hungry."  If only more mothers had that kind of devotion to their offspring this world might not be in the fix it's in today. That's gumption my friends.  Personally I'm just really curious as to what kind of acrobatics she might have performed had the kids diaper needed changing.

Don't get me started...

Does it get any weirder than this...Mother of Octuplets and maker of truly bad choices,  Nadya Suleman, already caught in the eye of a media hurricane, cash-strapped and nearly homeless, has been approached by porn distributor Vivid Entertainment to star in one of their "productions".  They've offered her a million dollars.  Man, ethics professors all over North America must be rubbing their hands in glee over this winfall.  Personally I'm just really interested in what she'll say.  She hasn't given them a definitive answer yet...which, I suppose, speaks volumes already.  The other thing, which I'm desperately trying to push out of my mind but which keeps coming back in, is what kind of person watches a porn film starring a woman who just gave birth to eight babies?  Man, that is, as my two kids would say, 'totally whacked'. And yes, of course, I cannot help myself from suggesting titles...
"Deep Womb"
"Debbie Breastfeeds Dallas"
And don't even get me started on "Octopussy".

Rotten to the Corp?

Wow.  I was perusing some reader feedback in the Star today regarding the CBC's request for more money from the federal government.  To say it was a tad vitriolic would be the understatement of the year.  I've never seen so many people eager to stick a knife into something and finish it off.  And honestly, I can't say I blame them.  I've had some experience with the Corp over the years and yes, I'm currently on one of their shows, but I've never really been a fan of the way they do things. I think the mandate is important but it seems to me that the Peter Principal is alive and well in the halls of the CBC.  When I talk with freelance producers who, normally used to working their asses off under budgets so tight they squeak, have spent some time on a CBC project, they cannot believe the waste. Trough feeding is legion.  If I'd only heard one or two of these kinds of stories I'd be tempted to write them off as apocryphal, but I've heard a lot of them from many different sources...so I sense something is a little rotten in Denmark. I don't want the CBC to go away.  There are unquestionably a number of very talented people there and there for the right reasons. But I would like to see that tree shaken rather firmly...I think we'd see an awful lot of rotten fruit suddenly on the ground.

All Day Breakfast.

I had to have my bi-annual bloodwork done today...a nice little parting gift from having cancer is that you need to have blood work done basically for the rest of your life.  Part of the deal is that I have to fast for twelve hours prior to them sticking me.  No biggie, especially since I'm generally asleep for seven or eight of those twelve hours.  Still, you're ready to eat when you're all done.  This morning I treated myself to a diner breakfast.  Two eggs, sausage, toast and homefries.  A breakfast I rarely partake of, partly for health reasons, partly because it's just too damn much food most of the time.   My usual fare is a bowl of my wife's patented nuclear granola and a cup of cappucino.  I think I made a mistake this time around though.  I ate at a place that advertised 'All Day Breakfasts'.  I ate the meal at about 9:30 this morning.  It's now 7:30 at night and I'm still tasting sausage and grease.  Now I know why they call them All Day Breakfasts.

I've changed...

I watched the Oscars last night. Well, until 11 o'clock anyway...let's not get stupid.  I've not been much of an avid follower of the Awards in these last few years, for a number of reasons.  Foremost was a decided dislike for what seemed to me nothing more than a giant love-in of the rich and vapid.  And in many cases, I think, that assessment was not far off the mark.  But lately things seemed to be changing.  And I think it's me that's changing, not the movie industry.  As I watched last evening I surprised myself by feeling a little proud of 'the biz'. Perhaps it was the particular roster of films that were being celebrated, and perhaps in past years this has not always been the case, but I felt very good that I was part of an art form that could tell stories like 'Milk' and 'Slumdog Millionaire' and 'Frozen River'.  Stories that enlighten and alter the way the world thinks and, dare I say it, make it a better place? 
Yes, there are still large numbers of twits and airheads and self-important navel-gazers in the film world, and there is more than enough dreck on the shelves of Video stores and I suppose there always will be.  But as long as there are people like Danny Boyle and Sean Penn and even the late Heath Ledger, art will continue to inform and bless us all. And that's always a good thing.

A tip of the helmet to Mats.

It's my great hope that Toronto hockey fans will respond to the appearance of Mats Sundin in a Canucks jersey with at least a portion of the class he showed during his many years as a Leaf.  Say what you will about Sundin and the decisions made and not made over this last hockey year, no one can deny he has been a great ambassador for the sport and a remarkable role model.  He was never my first choice to wear the 'C', I felt he lacked the fire and grit of a Clark or a Gilmour, but in a world where professional athletes often behave like arrogant, ignorant ,spoiled and sometimes very dangerous children, Mats polite, thoughtful and gentlemanly demeanor was a breath of fresh air.  Not to mention his incredible athletic gifts.  I don't think any Leaf fan would be able to argue that, like him or not, there were many nights when number 13 was the only thing worth watching out there.

What are you going to do?

What are we to do in a world where four people forcibly confine a mentally disabled man in an attic room and torture and abuse him for three weeks? What are we to make of this?  It's despicable, no question.  Inhuman is another word that comes to mind, although God knows, sometimes cruelty is one of the defining characteristics of humanity.  It's very easy to get bent right out of shape over this tragedy. If this doesn't incense you, you don't have a pulse. This is definitely one of those 'get a few friends together with some balaclavas and baseball bats and pay these pukes a visit', kind of things.  But getting angry doesn't help us and it doesn't really help the victim either.  I'll tell you what I'm going to do.  I'm going to put the trash that did this right out of my mind.  I'm not giving them another moments thought. But I am going to hold the victim in my thoughts and my heart and I'm going to spend a good chunk of time sending him a whole lot of love and healing. I can do that.  And so I will.  I've been on the receiving end of that kind of love before  when I was doing a little dance with colon cancer and I know it makes a difference.

Enter to Win!!

I just love this picture.  Seems to say so much.  Care to join me in a little 'Caption Contest'?  How about these for starters...

"Gee Barack, did I mention I have all the Temptations albums?"
"Hmmm...how does he smile like that without breaking his face?"
"Grey suit? Check. Canada Pin? Check.  Blue tie?   Che...Awww Crap."
"Heh, heh...um, Mr. Barack?  I mean, Obama...you knew I was kidding with all that Bush support stuff?  Right?  Heh, heh...Hey, how about those Harlem Globetrotters huh?"
"Arrgghhh!  What's that noise?  It hurts. Never heard anything like it before....oh, it's applause?"

Chin up, fellow travelers...

I've been receiving a number of investment reports in the mail lately. I was trying to be sanguine about it initially but as the losses added up and added up it became more and more difficult to not get really angry.  I've lost tens of thousands of dollars.  No doubt you have too, if not more.  In retrospect I'm actually quite glad I hadn't been as scrupulous as some about topping up my rrsp every year. Only to have it flushed down the drain by the work of some greedy morons in suits.  Like I say, it's hard not to lose it.  Especially when no one is going to jail over what is, as far as I'm concerned, criminal negligence.  And I gather I am one of the lucky ones.  I've still got many many earning years ahead of me.  What about all those poor stiffs out there who have had their savings wiped out with no way to replenish them?  Well, what's to be done?  I'm maintaining my sanity by clinging tenaciously to the 'Buy, hold and prosper' adage.  Hoping against hope that even given the insanely stupid decisions of the financial sector over the last few years, that in the long run...and I mean the really, really long run...the market will continue upward and profits will be made.  That's still my strategy.  That and Scotch whiskey.  And if the envelopes keep coming the Whiskey part will become more important I am sure.  Chin up, fellow travelers.  We're still here and that's always good.  Some folks didn't wake up this morning.

What are you reading?

Read any good books lately?  Love that conversation starter.  I have to admit that when I visit someone's home I always make a bee-line for their library or bookshelves.  I think you can tell a great deal about a person by what they read, or don't read.  I have a passion for books. I love to buy them, to read them, to listen to them on mp3 while driving, to talk about them, to share them.  Books are one of those wonderful 'pay it forward' things for me.  If I've read something that I loved or that changed or touched me in some meaningful way I'm always more than happy to give it to someone else in the hope that it will do the same for them.  I have a wonderful friend who is a huge reader as well and I never fail to come away from her home laden with an armful of new titles I 'simply have to' read.  I've always said that if they somehow mananged to combine a bookstore, an LCBO and a Canadian Tire into one store, I would never be seen again.
For what it's worth, here are a few titles I've read recently that I thoroughly enjoyed...

'Good Poems' Collected by Garrison Keillor
'The Story of Edgar Sawtelle'  David Wroblewski
'Shantaram' Gregory David Roberts
'Thirteen Moons' Charles Frazier
'In Search of Schrodingers Cat'  John Gribbin
'Sometimes a Great Notion' Ken Kesey

Drop me a line  if you've got something  I  'Simply have to' read...