Neil Crone - Enter Laughing

Will Topol topple off the roof?

Man, I can't believe Topol is back again as Tevya in Fiddler on the Roof.  How old is this guy?  150?  He was no spring chicken when he first appeared in the movie version of the role back in the 70's.  Don't get me wrong.  I love the guy.  At least I loved him in the movie. That sonorous, warm chocolate voice of his and those eyes that seemed to hold the weight and sorrow of the world in them.  But wouldn't those same eyes be a little bit cloudy at this stage in the game?  And physically how is he doing?  I'm picturing Tevya laboring with his milk cart through the streets of Anatevka...with a walker.  Or maybe they've updated the piece a little.  Maybe he's merrily whizzing through the ranks of Cossacks in his electric scooter.  His blaze orange flag waving above the melee of the pogrom.  I don't know. I hope he's great. There's very little worse than seeing a legend when he/she is less than legendary.  I remember my Mom and Dad telling me about seeing Sinatra in his later years and being very dissappointed by 'Old Milky Blue eyes'.  Of course, most of that was just the Chairman of the Board being a crusty old fart who didn't feel like doing a full show for his fans.  You can't do that in a musical...you've got to follow the script.  And this script is a great one.  I'm with you Topol.  Hang in there old timer. If you're still up to fiddling...I'm still up to watching you fiddle.  Oh man, that sounded wrong.

What time is it again??

I've always thanked heaven for the wonderful gig I have in Little Mosque on the Prairie.  It's a wonderful show, produced, crewed, directed and cast with a bunch of very talented, very pleasant people.  And I'm all too aware, after 22 years in the biz, that that is not always the case.  Nor are the hours we keep exactly the norm in the film/tv world.  We generally do a twelve hour day, max.  That may sound like a lot to a nine to fiver but it's really very civilzed compared to a lot of productions.  I was vividly reminded of this yesterday when I put in a 15.5 hour day on a new tv show called Warehouse 13.  Don't get me wrong, it was a great experience.  The people on the show were terrific and the product looks fantastic.  But it's been a while since I've done a day like that.  Around about midnight, I was starting to flag pretty good.  The other thing that takes a little getting used to in the tv/film world is that lunch is always provided about six hours into the day...but if you go really long, a second meal arrives.  And if you're at the second meal stage, you're generally working pretty late.  What this meant last night was that at about 11:30 a huge whack of hamburgers and greasy bags of french fries arrived. Now, I could eat a hamburger and fries at 11:30 at night when I was in my teens and even early twenties and think nothing of it.  But at 49, that's a nasty joke to play on your body.  And it'll let you know, one way or another, that you probably shouldn't have done it.
So there I am at around midnight, tired and with a belly full of angry grease, and suddenly I realize it's time to do the 'stunt' that the script has been calling for all day. The special effects guys got me all rigged up in cables and harness and away we went. And thankfully it all went well.  No surprises for the camera or wardrobe dept. Driving home, at one-thirty, with the windows open to keep me awake, I said a special prayer of contrition and thanks to my GI tract.  And I promised not to do that to it ever again...or at least until the next late shoot.

A huge Thanks...

A gigantic thank you to all of you who joined us last Friday night at our Westminster Church Fundraiser Improv Comedy night.  Both shows were packed and we had an absolute hoot.  More importantly, the church raised a whack of dough to keep a number of very important outreach, children's and food bank programs going.  Stuff that is more important now, in this economic weirdness we're in the middle of , than ever.  Thanks to everyone for letting us be a part of that.
For those of you who couldn't make it, and for those who were there, I thought you might get a kick out of these photos...courtesy of my good pal and fantastic photographer Rob Johnson  Enjoy.

Funny as a Church?

Just wanted to let everyone know, if I haven't bugged you about it yet, that my Improv Comedy partner of over 20 years and I will be doing a couple of live shows this Friday night at Westminster United Church, Whitby.
That's right...comedy in a church.  I'm always up for something new.  Should be a blast.  Kev and I are doing two solid one hour shows.  No intermissions.  Improv is all about momentum and once we get the fun started we really hate to put it on hold.  Love to have you come if you can make it.  The show is completely improvised from start to finish.  We have no idea what's going to happen from one moment to the next...and sometimes that is painfully evident.  Our audience drives our shows completely...all of our suggestions come from them and many times audience members are actually up on stage with us.
 It's a hoot.  Hope you can make it.  Check out Mike Ruta's article for all  the details.
Cheers

Say, aren't you...

I had a pretty neat moment this morning.  For the first time in my life, I signed an autograph while riding a stationary bike.
I recently joined a fitness club and this morning, while riding the bike, a woman walked by me and gave me that look.  Not that look.  I haven't been on the receiving end of that look since...well, it pains me to admit it but I don't think I've ever been on the receiving end of that look.  No, I'm talking about the look that you get used to as a Canadian Celebrity. Canadian being the operative word.  It's that look that could say one of a couple of things.  Either it's "Hey, aren't you on tv?" or "Hey, aren't you the guy who cleaned my gutters last year?"  I never assume anymore.  I've had it go both ways.
Anyway, this very pleasant lady gave me the 'look' on one pass-by and then approached me on the next go round.  "You know, you look an awful lot like that guy on Little Mosque on the Prairie."
Inwardly thrilled that I had not been mistaken for the gutter guy, I explained that I was that guy on Little Mosque and she was delighted.  I'm always delighted when I can delight someone so easily.  She ran off to find a clipboard, pen and paper and was back in a flash.  Trying not to drip all over it, I happily signed a note to her two kids who were big fans apparently.  It made my day. I never stopped riding the whole time, by the way.  Let's see Brad Pitt do that.

What is important?

I don't know much about Natasha Richardson's career.  I don't think I would've recognized her name, frankly, until the news of her death got me reading about some of her film and theatre credits.  But that's just me.  The guy who doesn't watch television. And it's not important.  What is important, and what always strikes me right between the eyes when I read of sudden deaths like hers is that life is SHORT.  The thread we hang by is the finest gossamer.  People may think it odd that I always spend a good portion of my Saturday morning paper ritual reading the Obituaries.  I do so because inevitably I come away from the experience feeling intensely and gratefully alive.  That's how I feel today when I see the face of this beautiful, dead actress staring back at me from the computer screen.  I feel the need to go and really live today. To not waste a nanosecond of it in negativity or fear or regret.  Hope you feel the same way.  As Ian Holm's wonderful character in the movie 'Big Night' says...'Take a bite out of the ass of life!'

That slippery thing called the 'audition'.

I had a commercial audition today.  I don't do many commercial auditions anymore.  There was a time, many moons ago it seems, when I was new to the business and eager to get on camera for anything, that I would get very excited about any kind of audition.  I had a real, genuine enthusiasm to read for anything, even just making faces on camera.  But times change, our careers change and of course, we change.  I realized after a few lack-lustre commercial auditions, that, for a number of reasons, I just wasn't bringing the same energy into the room with me that I used to.  So, I stopped auditioning for commercials.  It felt like a right and natural evolution.  Not like giving anything up.  But, things have been quiet lately.  I guess they're quiet for a lot of us, in and out of the acting biz, and when this one came up today, I thought I'd go and give it a whirl again.  I'd forgotten how dehumanizing the process can sometimes be.  When you walk into a room and nobody looks up from their laptops.  When there's no magic...no connection with anyone or anything. You're just a talking head.  There was a time, and it was not that long ago, when actors were actually handed numbers when they went into an audition and were told to hold it up for the camera in lieu of stating your name.  Under protest, they've now dropped that behaviour, but the procedure can still be remarkably cold. And without the energy and enthusiasm of the novice to carry you beyond that, or even mask it, it can be a tough thing to come out of feeling 'positive'.  I don't ask for a song and dance from anyone, just a little recognition that another human has walked in.  I just think it makes all of our days a little nicer if we at least can make eye contact.  But, as I say, sometimes it's just not there. My main weapon in situations like these is a short memory.  Long ago I learned to forget about the audition almost immediately upon walking out the door.  That way if it went poorly, it's gone and if it went well you get a nice surprise phone call.

A night of Play(s)

I MC'd a function last night at Trafalgar Castle in Whitby.  It was a fundraiser for the Driftwood Theatre Co.  A great bunch of artists and performers who get kids all across Ontario hooked on live theatre.  My son saw them perform a hilarious production of 'The Complete Works of Shakespeare - Abridged' at Durham Integrated Arts Camp two years ago and he said it was the funniest thing he's ever seen.  Which smarted a little, as he's seen me perform on a number of occasions.  Still, he was captivated.
The fundraiser is called Trafalgar 24. 10 playwrights are locked in the Castle and have 24 hours to write, cast, produce, rehearse and then perform 10 plays for the audience gathered on the next night.  It's quite wonderful.  Patrons must choose six of the ten plays offered.  And they stage these things all over the building. We saw plays performed on a staircase, in a chapel, in a lockerroom, a basement...all of them terrific.  It's a testament to the magic of live performance to see what these artists can come up with on such short notice and with virtually no props or scenery.  It's barebones writing and acting and it's remarkably engaging. Plus, the icing on the cake, literally, is that after the last play is performed there is a huge Dessert Buffet. I had a piece of chocolate cake as big as my head. I'd go back in a heartbeat

We call them 'Dicks'...

I finally heard the much talked about 'Christian Bale Rant' today.  If you've missed it, and believe me, if so, you've not missed much, it's several minutes of Bale petulantly and profanely chewing out a DOP (Director of Photography) for allegedly walking into Bales sightlines while he was shooting a scene.  This kind of thing just makes me mental.  As an actor and more importantly as a human being.  It's the old Asshole masquerading as Artiste routine.  I've been on many, many sets and I've experienced people talking during my scenes, people sawing lumber, building sets, laughing...all kinds of silliness.  And there's a way we humans have of handling it.  We finish the scene, if we can, and then ask to do it again...or...we stop the scene by quietly saying 'Can we cut please' and then we address the problem through the proper channels and start again. And we use our big person words and we don't treat other people on set as though they were somehow less valuable or even less human than us. If I can do that for scale and half surely to God Bale can do it for the 50 or 60 thousand a day he's pulling down.  I don't like Method actors.  Never have.  I'm sure there must be one or two out there who are actually nice people but the overwhelming majority that I've worked with have been royal pains.  Give me somebody who can create a character at the drop of a hat and keep it going even when juggling bears walk through their eyeline...not some over-paid ponce who feels like he needs a week and half to understand what color underwear his character would wear.  We have a word for people like Bale in the acting profession. We call them 'dicks'.  If you want to check out the rant, click here. A warning however, it's not for young ears or the faint of heart.

But is it art?

 Wow...things got hot in here all of a sudden.  Yikes,  Rhetoric, vitriol, passion.  Even, differing opinions!  Keep it coming folks.  I'm always glad to hear whatever you have to say.  Feedback makes the world go 'round.  Besides, the day I no longer have people checking in on this blog is the day I stop writing it.  The internet is a remarkable thing and a very odd thing.  Blogs especially.  It's like writing in a diary and not only not locking it, but posting it on a billboard.  Writers and actors, all artists, have long understood that our work is very different from any others.  No one would think it at all permissible for a complete stranger to walk into a business office and critique someone's work. That would be the height of rudeness. But, if we invite the public to look at our work, to read our words, contemplate our art...then we must be prepared to hear back from that public.  The good, the bad and the ugly.  Yes I take it personally when someone doesn't care for what I do or write, I don't know how to avoid that when I've put so much of 'me' into it.  But I also take it personally and very joyfully when they love it. And that's what keeps you at it.  Thanks again to you all for showing up.