Pressing Buttons

Almost done is code for 6 months of bologna

Unless there was some sort of translation error, Suda51 has confirmed that No More Heroes: Desperate Struggle is almost done. So its right on track for its early 2010 release date.

Hold on. It's just the middle of 2009 now. So, it's still over 6 months away from completion, and yet is almost done. I totally understand this logic.

' _ '

Is there something that I'm missing? I mean, I know that when my Mom says dinner is almost ready, that I still have another five to ten minutes of sitting at the table banging my fork and knife on the table top. I guess Goichi Suda's Mom had a very distinct take on the passage of time, telling her son that dinner would only be a minute but in reality would be five days away from completion.

I guess I'm just upset over reading a quote that I assumed meant a quicker release. Add to that fact that we still don't know what Suda is working with EA on, and I get even further bummed out.

BirdCats await you

The hardest part about anticipation is that of the unknown. Looking forward to the latest installment in a series comes with its own set of luxuries. Most importantly of all is that you kind of know what to expect. One's mind never wandered over the possibilities of what a sequel to 2007's Call of Duty 4 might bring, because you knew that no matter what extras they throw on, you're going to be iron-sighting baddies in unnamed exotic lands.

But it's the unknown that makes me sweat.

All we've known about Team Ico's next game can easily be listed without any need to search for references:

• there's no way in hell it will actually be called Trico
• if you think it's going to be shown at the next upcoming gaming convention, you're wrong (see E3 2007/2008, TGS 2007/2008, etc.)
• it'll cause further discussion in the "are games art" debate, at which time I'll zone out and say something like "But are games fart?"

And it's based off these few facts that makes these kind of anticipations the hardest to deal with. The "unannounced" are what drives me to insanity. Once I have a firm grip on what I'm in store for, I become a much more sedated individual.

But I don't think the leaked Trico trailer helps me out much. Because of how hard the fact that this is barely even a concept video is bored into my mind, I'm still left wondering just what I should be looking forward to. It's exciting to have a peek at what Team Ico have cooking in the lovin' oven, but it's heartbreaking knowing there's the possibility that the final product won't be anything like what is shown. Hopefully the final product will retain this element of pairing Ico's and Shadow of the Colossus's gameplay. I will try to remain patient for the 21st century's interpretation of My Pet Monster.

Hopefully the disgust I read for CatBird doesn't blossom any further, as it's something that I believe to be both badass and cute.. Not since Catbus have I been so happy to see a cat rammed into something else.

Oh, and if you like the music from the trailer, I found out it's from Miller's Crossing. Which in turn pulled it from something else. But I don't know what that original source is, so Miller's Crossing wins.

Life's a Beat-ch

If you were able to see inside my room, you’d observe that my pants are slumped over in the corner. That is because they have been charmed off by the likes of New Play Control Donkey Kong Jungle Beat, and Klonoa. I say charmed because the truth is far more grotesque. But, if you have an iron stomach, inviso-text will reveal what regular text cannot. There’s actually nothing shady going on here. It’s not as if some manic monkey ripped them off of me while that dastardly rabbit boy held me down, they both just star in really great game.

I was worried that my repeat trip into Jungle Beat would reek far too much of a double dip. So at first I bought it on the promise of new content, and also because I do most of my gaming at night, so slapping my palms on fake plastic bongos isn’t the nicest way to show gratitude for a roof over my head. So it became a pretty easy buying decision, one that lacked the usual buyers remorse I encounter each and every time (no matter the game I always regret spending  over $50 on anything). And because of how familiar I am with its Gamecube iteration, I’m really surprised by how different this new fangled Wii version is.

Say what you’d like about the New Play Control line thus far, but it’s pretty clear that aside from a more streamlined control method, you are still playing the same game. Pikmin’s fundamentals of escaping a terrifying planet remained intact in the move to the Wii. And the rules of tennis didn’t receive any tinkering just because you can now swing your arm to smack a ball around in Mario Power Tennis. But Jungle Beat is a significant change. It sounds silly, but the Wii version’s more traditional health system changes the game. I’m a bit hesitant to tack on a “for the better” at the end there, because it’s just different.

Basically, in the old Jungle Beat, your health worked much like Sonic’s rings do. As you go through the level, you collect bananas and attempt to build up multiplier combos as you do so. If you get hurt, you lose some of those bananas. At the end of each kingdom (which itself is made up of two standard platforming stages and a boss fight), your bananas are counted, and you’re rewarded based on your end count. But what the Wii’s Jungle Beat does differently is keep your banana count and health separate, as your health is indicated through a more traditional three heart system. Get hit, lose a half of a heart, but your bananas are untouched.

What I like so much about this new system is that it pays to be a bit more experimental. With that thought of, “Well, if I get hurt my bananas will take a hit,” in the back of your mind, I was always less likely to take chances. But in knowing that my experiment could pay off without affecting my banana horde, I have been exploring every which way. While it’s odd that such an imaginative game has been injected with something so antiquated, it still manages to work really well.

One change I’m surprised wasn’t made was in regards to the controls. Yes, they have been changed, but Nintendo didn’t make the awkward misstep I imagined they would have. Since it was played with the bongos, in the original Jungle Beat you slapped left and right to move in those directions. Naturally, I believed Nintendo would have us waggle with the remote and nunchuk to move everyone’s favourite kidnaper, similar to their previous Gamecube to Wii re-imagining; DK Barrel Blast. But instead, you control Donkey with the analog stick, simple as that. The one thing I find odd is that you now waggle to have Donkey create that sound wave around him. On the Gamecube, this would have him grab onto whatever was around him, which included bananas. On the Wii, he’ll still grab onto bosses, enemies, and whatnot, but he won’t make any effort to grab hold of bananas. Instead, you hit A to do that now. I didn’t figure this out until I noticed my awful banana counts at the end of each kingdom (grabbing bananas with Kong’s hands continues a combo, just touching them does not). It was a really odd choice that complicates things, and I’d love to know the reasoning behind it.

While the New Play Control line-up seems like it lacks a genuine effort to make these titles play like genuine Wii games, don’t lump Jungle Beat in that category. It’s just worthy of your time.

The kiddie conundrum

Like caviar wrapped in Jelly Belly, there’s been a strange trend of putting together games that by all appearances are for children, but quickly reveal themselves to be for an audience of finer tastes.

I’m not talking about that copy of Toy Story you had for your Super Nintendo, either.  That was just poorly made, with controls and mechanics that no gamer of any pedigree could cope with. Instead, I’m referencing recent efforts like Viva Pinata and Banjo Kazooie: Nuts and Bolts. The reason behind all this was an admission of what went wrong with Zack and Wiki, a puzzle game with a dose of both pointing and clicking. Now nothing more than a cult hit, it once carried a lot  more weight. As Capcom’s first genuine foray into Wii development, Zack and Wiki was poised to become what every publisher dreams of; a franchise. But despite great reviews and a vocal fan base, it sat on store shelves. Despite it’s critical success, the jury was out on Zack and Wiki very early on; it was something very few people would actually want. 

Unfortunately, Z&W failed in appealing to two very important markets. To the traditional gamer, it’s interesting gameplay was marred by its childish aesthetics. No matter how often people say gameplay is king, there’s many out there who still need the game to be visually appetizing. Otherwise we wouldn’t have wound up with situations like the initial backlash to Wind Waker. Accordingly, the market segment that would like this type of game became significantly smaller.  They just couldn’t get over pirate boys and robot monkeys.

As for the younger demographic that would have found Z&W visually stimulating, they were put off by a genre they couldn’t understand. At retail, it was difficult to recommend the game to children, as they would likely be put off by the difficulty. Zack and Wiki was far from an easy game. It was difficult, and after the first few introductory stages, would through the most seasoned of gamers for a loop. So now, another large portion of the market has been turned off from a game deserving of their time.

And the pattern just continues to repeat itself. As mentioned earlier, Rare caused itself the same problems with its Viva Pinata titles. Here’s a game that hoped to claim that same market that Pokemon had; children with mountains of disposable income, and young adults that would support the games long past it’s eventual abandonment by the aforementioned children (likely due to the next best thing). Despite an animated television show that would lead one to think that its video game companion would be just as light, the Viva Pinata video games proved to be as hardcore as possible. In the face of its childish visuals stood a game that required one to labour over its many hidden details. Micro-management has never been a child’s strong suit, and the game never took off in that market.

The most difficult aspect of this problem is how do you tackle it? Is there any reason a developer should change the title’s art style just so it fits the confines of the genre better? And should a game have to instantly become an easier experience because it looks like something sandwiched between Spongebob and Bakugon on a Saturday morning?

It doesn’t have to go in either direction. The most important thing is striking that perfect balance. Take The Sims for example, here’s a game that has the same life-management focus that Viva Pinata has, but it manages to take it easy on the 12-year-old girls playing, as well as possess that time-sinking ability that draws in the more hardcore of us. New Super Mario Bros. is an interesting example as well. Here we have a design that’s just as childish as Zack and Wiki, but it provides branching difficulty levels. Kids may not be able to access every hidden nook and cranny, but there’s still a full experience there for them.

The only obstacle still remaining is those thick-headed individuals who can’t play a game without bare midriffs and thick armed steroid addicts. And I wish I could list off some magical solution. A graphic filter that instantly upsizes any female character’s brazier, perhaps? But, and I say this with as much venom as possible, they just need to get over themselves. If they choose to miss out on some of our greatest treasures, they can live with it. Because, when they pass on their game collections to their own children and are asked why Zack and Wiki isn’t part of it, “I was a damned fool,” is all they’ll have to say.

Wishing ill will

Good lord, if you haven’t updated your RSS feeds, do so right this instant. There’s this awe-inspiring article at the TimesOnline that just crumbles Nintendo’s bright future.

But I recommend you only give it a read if you haven’t read the hundreds of previous articles, blogs, rants, and public outbursts that have made the rounds since the Wii’s release.

Is this just the easiest way to generate traffic from the gaming community? It’s amazing just how often this type of story pops up and prompts pages and pages of “discussion.” I guess it’s too time consuming to write about something worthwhile or interesting. I’d even settle for an article that wasn’t a total waste of mine and the author’s time.

It is odd that not everyone faces this same degree of scrutiny. Microsoft and its Xbox 360 sit in a very comfortable place, nestled in the sweater blanket of public opinion if you will. For starters, you got pretty much anyone who matters to the core gaming audience relishing every slight made against the Wii, and then those same people making educated comments such as “The PS3 has no games.”

Maybe console sales are a realm where no one but those financially invested should bother. Should we really be sticking our necks out and play prophet, predicting which consoles and games will rise and fall?

The easiest thing to do is just sit back and play the games. If you can’t hide your arousal for all things anti-Wii, that’s alright, but you don’t have to behave like a modern day David with a degree in journalism, taking down video game Goliaths for page hits.

Let’s just play the games that we want to play, and ignore those that we don’t. Why dwell on negativity? I don’t work for Nintendo, so why bother commenting on their Japanese sales? Do I honestly understand every area of their business? Fluctuating Yen? Worldwide recession? I do, however, know that I want to play Punch-Out!!, and that’s all that should really matter. Discussing how Punch-Out!! fits into the continuity of the Mario universe is far more suitable to our hobby, not that I'd encourage that exact essay.

 

Not the best post, but I'm just a little peeved

Alright, so Kotaku posted this story about how poorly Major Minor's Majestic March sold piss poorly in Japan (and I imagine North America will be following suit). Being the latest game from Parappa the Rapper "masterminds" Masaya Matsuura and Rodney Greenblat. Now, Kotaku's article never dives into that whole "you can't succeed on the Wii" mentality, which is a good thing. And while some people may not like a writer's personal take on the news presented alongside it, I don't mind when people try to to make things a bit more clear.

All in all, Parappa the Rapper is a much better game than Major Minor's Majestic March. Somewhere between Parappa the Rapper 2 and now, Nana-On Sha lost whatever they had going for them. I guess Tamagotchi's did them in.

600 copies sold is pretty rough for anyone. I don't want a game to fail. But I don't think it's fair to talk about how poorly a bad game is selling. What makes things worse is that this isn't Conflict: Denied Ops we're talking about. This is like when Pizza met my mouth; a combination of two really cool people making a video game.

I wanted this game badly, and then it turned out awful. I guess the "fun" of this story is how badly its failing, but I just don't discussion of that is warranted.

Feeling Riddickulous

I don’t think I’ve ever been more confused by a game then the time I’ve spent with The Chronicles of Riddick: Escape from Dark Athena.  Playing a game is pretty cut and dry, either I like it or I don’t. There’s never really been that middle ground for me. In every facet of my life, you get a super thin chance to get placed in my good books.

But with Riddick, I’m running behind a bandwagon that’s housing a ton of really happy people. I can see them really enjoying themselves, talking about how great a bandwagon it truly is. But I can’t seem to make that jump on board. The bandwagon has a lot of rusty nails, and it smells of soiled diapers. And it’s warty.

I’m a few hours in, and I’m certainly enjoying myself. But I keep feeling as if the game is purposely putting me through the ringer. At times, I feel as if it can’t make up its mind as to what it wants to be. The game places a focus on melee combat and skulking around the prison’s shadows. That is, when it doesn’t go through an identity crisis and wants you to be the new sheriff in town, blasting your foes away. There’s been a few times when I feel as if I’m supposed to sneak around the jail guards, or I believe I should, considering the environment is steeped with shadows. But after many failed attempts, the easiest thing to do is simply shoot the dude. And by easiest, I also mean it was the only way. No amount of shadow play could allow me to advance any further.

I’m not letting these problems mar the game completely; I’m still enjoying a very original and creative game. But I hope the problem is remedied soon, or else Riddick will be labeled as “two faced”, perhaps even enter the “shady” territory popularized by Lauren Conrad of The Hills. And it will not like living among the ranks of Spencer Pratt, I can tell you that much.

From zero to sixty

I honestly couldn't have had any less interest in Rabbids Go Home unless it actually came packed in with a vial of the Ebola virus.

But now, in lieu of some very important information, I feel quite differently, and as such, have realized I'm quite shallow.

Ubisoft Montpellier is the developer. And this has officially become my most anticipated title of the year.

I've got the new Nintendo Power which broke the news right beside me. And it's beside me now because an article that I originally planned on ignoring has become one that I need to read right away.

In the beginning, I believed that Ubisoft's Paris team would be the ones behind the game. And according to my brain, nothing good has come from them.

I still recommend Rayman Raving Rabbids to the masses. It's a great game. But I can't bring myself to recommend its sequels. Ubisoft Paris took something beautiful and threw it into a seatbelt-less bumper car, saying only one thing before it go ripped to shreds by its bear-driven competition; "Have fun."

But it looks like the series is back at home with it's creator, Michel Ancel. You may remember that name if you're from the future, as it later becomes a worldwide holiday where we celebrate his genius.

I become an even worse individual for not knowing much else about the game. But the dude tied his name to a King Kong game, and look how that turned out. The guy just can't produce anything less than spectacular. He may have single-handedly kicked off the mini-game collection craze on the Wii, and I still can't condemn him.

So while I may be shallow, I am for all the right reasons.

Pressing Start

I think it's about time I pay my respects to those games that have the nerve to expect its user to follow the on-screen instructions it displays.

Which is to say requiring me to press the start button when it commands so.

Far too often after a parade of company logos, the game's main screen comes up. Well, most of it anyways. Before the display cascades into the full main menu, we generally need to press a button. And that button is almost always said to be the start button.

But how many times have you hit the A button instead, only to have the same results? What about select?

Some games have taken notice to this trend of refusing orders, and prominently display a "Press Any Button To Continue." Why press that far away Start button when my thumb is already primed and ready on the A?

But it's those games that force me to press Start that I respect like a fallen rap artist. Honestly, how glaring an example of a loser if you can't be bothered to hit the right button? By choosing to ignore this request, the game should immediately question your intelligence and force you into some sort of baby mode.

I'm only a recent convert to the pressing Start club, but I can already see the error in my previous ways. The button says start right on it, what else would you press? When exactly did we move away from this intelligent way of life?

I want the times where pressing any other button would result in a brick wall between you and the game. I need those times back.

Should I even care anymore?

It seems like Valve can't help but remind all us 360 owners that the update to their 2007 hit Team Fortress 2 is still on the way.

So I can only hope that the reason only a select few still play the thing is that there's a multitude of players waiting in protest for this massive update.

Maybe that's why this thing is taking so long. Valve's kinship with gamers is due to their good nature of supplying free content to their consumers. While this is happening with Left4Dead, it's entirely possible that this whole TF2 on 360 thing is kind of dead in the water. Dumb thing to say considering the above link, but honestly, with all these excuses for its delay, it's very possible the one dude working on it will call it quits. Why waste time on something that so few will enjoy? On the 360, it's obvious that you're merely a flash in the pan if you don't supply it constant updates and content. Valve came up short on that end of the bargain, which is why it won't appear on Xbox Live's activity list ever again.

Maybe Valve's just pushing me to the PC version.