Pressing Buttons

Walmart wants to save the earth, calls game cases into question.

It's hard to forget how huge Walmart is, both literally and figuratively. And now they're having secret meetings with our favourite meetings to discuss how mean they are to the environment. And we support these bastards, encouraging them to provide us games in plastic cases! Any different and we'll all be thrown into mass hysteria, taking the lives of anyone involved in the decision making process!

I do agree with Walmart that we really need to be watching ourselves a little closer, just how important are these plastic cases? They're a convenience, yes, but I can certainly live without them.

I just can't help but think this is Walmart trying to find something or someone to blame without looking at themselves. Yeah, my 360 running all day long may equate to powering two fridges, but how many fridges does operating a 24 hour Walmart equal to? My favourite example of "missing the point" is energy saving lightbulbs and the excessive plastic used to package them.

I wouldn't mind cardboard cases at all, I've seen them used for DVD cases, and the discs remain in good shape with proper care. They may not stack as nicely as some would like, but we'd just have to deal with it. Every little bit helps, and if this takes off, I'd gladly support it. But I do think video games are the least of our worries.

Neversoft? More like Nevershut....up. Ugh. It's a bit of a stretch.

Here I was, thinking everything was going perfectly. Harmonix was off doing its own thing, and Neversoft was doing its very similar thing. And we pledge allegiance to one, or go for the glory and fill our homes will all sorts of plastic doodads.

And while I was a bit miffed by some comments made by Neversoft earlier this year, I put it in the past. I see Rock Band 2 and GH:WT as two viable products, and while similar, each had its own set of unique features. And the acts of Activision as a publisher don't tarnish how I view Neversoft. Activision can buy up as many songs and albums as they want to feature as exclusive content in GH, that's out of Neversoft's hands. EA's got money, they could do the same thing.

But the problem is, Neversoft just can't get it's people to shut up. In a conversation with Eurogamer, GH:WT director Brain Bright poked fun at the cymbol add-ons for RB2's drum kit, saying that they're basically a quicky and dirty reaction to GH:WT's announcement. Instead of discussing his game's music creator, or neat-o guitar, he just has to use this time to belittle the competition. I never thought we'd hear these kinds of comments from a studio who inherited the franchise from its creators. It's like pissing on your mom.

In the spirit of Neversoft's other franchise, they totally pulled a non-rad bail...to the max.

GH is wildly successful, so you'd think you'd hear these type of comments from he who is losing. It'd be as if Peter Moore went around bemoaning All-Pro Football for sucking up all the retired NFL talent, leaving EA and Madden with nothing but the new guys. But they don't say that stuff because it doesn't make any sense. But Neversoft, and in particular the game's director, feeds the need to act the tough guy.

All the while, they had a really good thing going. I am absolutely going to pick up GH:WT now that it'll work with my RB kit. And as for Wii owners, RB left an incredibly terrible taste in their collective mouth, leaving GH3 and World Tour as the absolute best choice for them.

The folks at Harmonix are not saints, I was unimpressed by their responce in the same article, but it appears to me that they're proud enough in their own work to not go out of their way to sling some poo at Neversoft.

The majority have already spoken with their dollars, and Guitar Hero wins by a large margin. Don't throw that away with playground antics.

Crashing castles in 5, 4, 3...(Updated with impressions)

It's been a long time coming, and even though I'm closer than ever, it still feels like The Behemoth's Castle Crashers is a million yards away.

It's hard for me to say "Here's all the games I like and have liked!" But, since I know I've missed the oppurtunity, lets make it clear that Alien Hominid is awesome. I have it for my Gamecube and intend to bronze it. That or my future-baby's shoes. Money's tight.

So with that one game under their belt, I knew that The Behemoth was something special. They're two for two in terms of style, as both Castle Crashers and Alien Hominid are total babes in the looks department. But do they have big brains to match? Well, if by brains I mean gameplay, then yes, both have brains that are quite jumpin'. The side-scrolling beat-them-up is a genre that I never really got into. I pretty much missed out on the beat-em-up madness of the late 80's, so I had no nostalgia in my heart. It's only suiting those both games could be considered re-imaginings of certain genre staples, Alien Hominid shares a lot of qualities with Contra, and Castle Crashers is more like River City Ransom. I'm not sure The Behemoth will tackle Streets of Rage anytime soon, but crudly drawn tranvestite enemies are certainly never out of the question.

So since I'm so jacked for CC, I thought I'd put myself in the game.

You may notice that I'm armed with a keyboard. That is because the pen is mightier than the sword. And since I don't really use a pen much anymore, a keyboard is pretty much it's equivalent.

Hopefully I won't be waiting much longer. I'll have some impressions for you later today. As well, I'll have a review for Ratchet and Clank Future: Quest for Booty up super soon. Thought I'd let you know. It ties in, talking about downloadable games and whatnot.

IGN has a review up for Castle Crashers, and from the sounds of it, it's definitely the way to cap off this crazy summer of downloads.

UPDATES: So staying up until 4 in the morning has it's benefits. But I imagine this will be the one and only time.

I cashed in my 1200 MS Points ($15) and bought myself a spiffy new copy of CC.

I only played the first two levels, but I'm already impressed. The animation is gorgeous, and just because the game doesn't feature an alien doesn't mean it isn't otherworldly. The blacksmith runs his shop out of a giant frog, whose cheek's house your available weapons. Since that's been in a fair share of games how about this cherry on top: the frog's wearing a set of caribbou antlers.

I'm praying some people on my friends list buy this before they commit all future purchases to re-buying Braid. It's a lot of fun alone, but I can tell how much it would ramp up with a buddy. I'm not sure if it's a sympton of playing alone, but occasionally I'll get sandwiched between to bad dudes and just get hammered before I can react manuevre my way out of the situation.

The fighting is simple enough, and so far the combos are pretty simple and easy to remember. You have a light and strong attack, a ranged attack (should you have the proper item), and some magic. You're not smothered with move-sets right away, instead you earn your stable by leveling up. There's something to say about the simplicity of upgrading only four categories, and that would be "great job." It's hard enough for me to choose among the four, so it's quite the blessing.

I do think it's funny that The Behemoth haven't abandoned their shooter roots completely. Plenty of enemies manage to squeeze a few cheap shots at you from a distance, and so can you in return. These generally seem to come out of nowhere, considering you're focusing on the melee combat you're engaged in. It's an annoyance to take a hit "out of nowhere", especially since the brunt of the game is upclose and personal combat.

Hopefully the quality holds up, because you could consider me impressed thus far.

Another blog about playing a requisite prequel and disliking the aesthetics: Fable edition

I think I have to ignore any game that has the chutzpah or intentions to become a franchise later down the line. It's not that I want to, it's that it just keeps happening.

Somehow I managed to finaggle myself out of playing the Metal Gear Solid series for 10 years. So, when MGS4 was right around the corner, I blew through them in rapid succession.

And later down the line, I predict to spend many a moon cursing a man and his mega ways, considering Mega Man 9 is on its way.

But what's occupying my time now? Why, Xbox's Fable of course!

Since I'm playing it now, I probably don't have the expections of an Xbox owner in September of 2004. Those were tough times. I remember the outcry though, "I was supposed to be able to kill children! Peter Mollinew is a total butt munch!" Back in 2004, there was nothing worse than being called a butt munch. This was the game that really cast Peter Molyneux as the guy who you really shouldn't trust. Before he was just the guy that made cool games, but due to his early and constant promotion of Fable, he became the guy that took out child murder.

"Honey, could you take out the trash?"

"Yes, dear. I promise to make this trash removal five times more effective than any other process in the world. I can't tell you now, but I'm also planning on a totally innovative method next time around."

But that's to say he's a cool guy, far from it. He just gets excited. When he said Fable was going to be the best game ever made, he meant it. It sure as hell wasn't, but he probably felt it was. It's sure better than hating your own game.

So, with Fable 2 coming in fast (and mildly catching my interest), I thought I'd check out the game I've been talking about for the last few paragraphs. It's super cheap, and I made sure to pick up the Lost Chapters edition. Which is another reason why I didn't download it onto my 360, the version offered is the plain ol' Fable.

So, I'm liking it so far. I'm a couple hours in, and I'm enjoying it. Some punk kid tried to tempt me to break a guy's barrels. I don't care if there's dead prossies in them, I need to buy my sister a birthday gift! But then I came across a huge problem, some kid wanted me to beat up a "bully". But, in talking to the both of them, I felt that the bully had a valid point. While he wasn't the nicest kid, he was picking on some dumb kid who stole his sister's teddy bear. A teddy bear I've been asked to retrieve, might I add. So, who do I beat up? I had to sit back and say "Do what you think is right," instead of what's right for the game. I beat up the bully. He was being a jerk afterall.

Before I move onto my Fable 2 pre-ordering adventures, let me say that Fable 1 has some conflicting art styles. I love the environments in the game, and if I squint real hard I can see that same direction in the characters. But, while big hands and feet are awesome, something is seriously wrong with those faces. I'm not speaking of the game's graphics either, it is a four-year-old game after all. No, it's the style. Somewhere along the lines, taking the character art from the page to the screen got into a huge fender bender, because the in-game models are messed up. Buck teeth are cool and all, but the citizens of this world don't look right.

Those are some wacko eyes. I also love how he slowly evolves into a Slipknot mask, all because he didn't tell on a cheating spouse. I used to lie about eating my gross lunches at school, imagine my face started to split open? But I have to admit that Fable 2 is a better realization of that style, and I'm glad to see their artwork and in-game models syncing up quite nicely.

So, since I'm a sucker for pre-orders (I somehow think disc's are in short supply), I put down a 5-spot on Fable 2. I'm pretty much in the dark when it comes to Lionhead's latest, but I'm pretty excited to play I game I know nothing about. It's not how I usually do things, but since I can count on it being (at the very least) good, I'll put any worries to rest.

I won't, however, judge it based on my impressions of the Fable 2 Pub Games (free with every pre-order Microsoft would like me to say). I'm terrible at these things, I constantly make the worst decisions.The game's aren't bad, I'm just not the best gambling man. You can actually go into debt if you're bad enough. I'm worried that when I boot up Fable 2, Tom Nook's gonna bang on my door asking for his money.

Podcasts aren't just for iPods, they're for MP3 players in general

Just thought I'd stress the importance of listening to yesterday's 1Up FM. I'm not quite sure how into podcasts you are, but I'd suggest making a habit of it. I don't even listen to music anymore. That probably sounds sad to a lot of people, but, a bunch of nerds (like me) sitting around eating junk food (like me) and talking games (like...like me!) is the sound an angel makes when it wins the Superbowl.

So, the reasons this 1Up FM is so special is because Tim "Nickname" Schafer is interviewed at the end! Tim Schafer! At the end!

For those who aren't familiar with him (and I've only played two of his games, so I'm retroactively becoming a fan), he's this evil scientist who brings awesome jokes to life. And then he turns those jokes into a soul, and places that soul inside a shell known as a video game. He worked on plenty of the Monkey Island games, Grim Fandango, and most recently, Psychonauts. If you want to be my best-friend-for-the-time-being, you can download Psychonauts over Xbox Live Arcade. It's one of them Xbox Originals, but if you can find a disc version laying around that'll work too.

He doesn't talk about Brutal Legend much (he and his studio's next game), but he drops a lot of backstory on the development history of Psychonauts. You can also get a grab bag's worth of information here, and if you like what you see, click on some of them related videos. Perhaps watch them in sequential order.

Anyways, Schafer's great, and it's bizarre why people even care what David Perry has to say, when Tim Schafer has stories about weevils in his cereal that are far better. We really need to re-evaluate who we hold in high esteem in our industry, because Schafer's batting nothing but homeruns, yet some can't help but anticipate Itagaki's next predictable move. Not you though, you're one of the true believers. I an feel it.

I'm emptying the fridge left, right, and center

It seems as if all my console's hit critical mass at the same time.

With my Wii currently housing two WiiWare titles and a couple Virtual Console games, and my 360 left with only 6 GBs of space, I'm constantly in the need for more room.

I gave my PS3 some breathing space with a larger harddrive, but I obviously don't have that option with its two brothers.

Yes, my consoles belong to one family. If they knew they should exist only as vengeful rivals, I'd wake up to a room of broken plastic and exposed wires one day. They may in fact not come alive at night, but why take the chance?

So while I hope for a storage solution for my Wii, the 360 has such a device. A bigger harddrive, of course! Unfortunetly, the only size available that's a step up from my meager 20 gigger is 120. Not bad, that's what my PS3 HDD is at. Problem is, it's two-hundred bones. So yeah, that is obviously not an option. If I won $30 million, there's still no way I could justify that amount of money. There's been a lot of talk of why they cost so much, but I just don't think a lot of foresight went into it. Microsoft should be trying to make as little profit as possible on these things, because I'm likely to give them more money when I can buy more junk off of Xbox Live.

I downloaded Psychonauts, and when it came in and crowded up 3 gigs worth of space, I figured it was in my best interest to hold off on future purchases until I can get a bigger drive.

I'm even now tossing around the idea of trading in my 360 and see how much it'll be to get the new 160GB model. Still have some research to do, but I'm disapointed that it came to this.

Team Fortress 2 catches up to its cooler PC brethren

I guess I should be kind of bitchy about the news, considering the same content is free on the PC, but the 360 version of Team Fortress 2 getting all those fancy updates is music to my thumbs. And pointer fingers, I use them too.

It'd odd the lengths I'll go for new content. While I stared down the face of free content on the PC version, I actually contemplated taking out the old pen and paper and writing Valve a strongly worded letter. In it, I would ask that they give in and charge me for these updates. I want them so badly, that I'm more than happy to throw a couple bones their way. This crap's substancial, guys. It's game changing even. You wouldn't a sandwich would be game altering, but it is.

I'm not really familiar with just how Microsoft's downloadable content policies work. We've heard from Valve in the past that they'd like this content to be free on the 360, but MS was threatening them with a shiv (and uptight policies that don't allow for free content). This started a lot of talk that the EA-ported Playstation 3 version would get the update (as it seems Sony has no such policy in place), and were this to be the case, I'd have to get the PS3 version, warts and all.

But now my heart's been soothed. But I have to wonder about these policies Microsoft's throwing around. How do they explain Burnout Paradise? And what of Battlefield: Bad Company's free modes? It's all a little hazy, and I hope Valve speaks aloud of it more. This junk needs to change.

So I'm happy as a clam, as I have my fair share of Microsoft Points kicking around. I don't look forward to the achievement whore servers, but since we're getting one massive update, it's likely people will still ignore the medic. He'll still be all mine...

As R. Kelly would say, "Come on and Braid my hair."

I'm over two weeks late, but unless someone wants to toss me a weekly cheque of $15, two week old reactions are all I can offer. Maybe I'll try to spice it up a bit, talk about how the deeper meaning of Braid has not made itself known to me. That's something you don't hear everyday! Most everywhere else people are discussing what the game is really trying to say (admirably, of course), meanwhile, you'll have me over here in the babies corner saying that I just think it's a fun game. That's quite a scoop.

Since it's almost impossible to find a game that binds itself to one sole genre, Braid two is a mish-mash of play styles. On one hand, you have the careful platforming of a Mario title, and on the other is puzzles that'd find themselves quite comfortable on the pages of a MENSA test.

Well, Braid may not be that hard exactly. You won't be admitted into a society of intellects, but you may feel just as proud. The curveball Braid throws at you is that other half I touched upon, the platforming portion of its genetic code. You have to tell yourself that yes, Braid is a game where you'll jump upon lion-faced goombas and avoid pipe-dwelling pirahna plants, but it's also one where everything else associated with the genre isn't present. There's no power-ups or extra lives. If you see one of the game's collectibles just out of reach, you won't attain a bunny suit and flap your ears to reach it.

To best way describe the kind of puzzles Braid puts out is to give an example. You know that one where someone tells you all about a rooster having 13 eggs in its nest, but five were taken by the farmer? The question asked of you is how many chicks did the rooster give birth to. And, the "obvious" response is that roosters don't give birth, since they're male. That's the kind of puzzles Braid has. Whether you succomb to GameFAQs or solve the riddle yourself, you'll always wonder what took you so long. The answer was right there, so why didn't you see it sooner?

You'll ask yourself this so often because Braid doesn't play by the rules. Picture it as a 1950's no-good-nick, leather jacket and all. You walk to school, Braid takes its motorcycle there. Everything you expect it to do, it does the opposite. The bad guys aren't even as awful as you'd think, they're expendable help is plenty of situations.

Braid's crucial feature (that I'm just now mentioning five paragraphs in) is rewinding time. While the Prince of Persia series did this as well, you're using it a lot more than just to rewind time. And that's what charms me the most. I had no idea that'd this mechanic would be what solved the puzzles. If you gave me that mechanic, and said "Make up whatever puzzles you'd want", they'd all revolve around rewinding time to effect the environment. And I'd probably come up with three puzzles. But Braid uses this feature so inventively, it's likely we won't see such well thought out puzzles for quite some time.

Because you're collecting puzzle pieces and then putting them together on a blank canvas, Braid overcomes the collect-a-thon of most platformers. It's so much fun to place those pieces back together that you want to obtain them. Not everyone has that "must collect everything" attitude, but since what you collect is put to good use, Braid just feels different. Your not collecting jiggies to open up Gruntilda's next world, you're solving puzzles to solve yet another. But, if that's not enough incentive, you can still skip plenty of those pieces and just play the game as you see fit.

Not too long ago, a major curfuffle broke loose regarding Braid's pricing in Japan. And when that $15 price tag was denied and then slapped right back on, poo got real. Suddenly people were shouting “Well, that's way too damn much!” and questioning the intellect of everyone involved. It's as if we've never had to pay more than $10 for a downloadable game before. Suddenly, the idea that an independent game would retail for $15 is ludicrous, while everyone swallows the horse pill that is Penny Arcade's $20 adventure. If you can give off the impression that your game is a big deal are you suddenly able to get away with a heftier price tag? The Ratchet and Clank downloadable game sells for $15, and promises no more than a few hours of playtime, and yet no one scoffs. Are hand drawn 2D platformers something that we have had such an abundance of that we can scold the idea as to charge so much?

I think people are confusing value with content. While Braid may last only a few hours, the impression it makes and the enjoyment you take from it will last a lot longer. I didn't bat an eye at Lost Wind's $10 price tag, and this is without the safety net of a demo. And while it only lasted a few hours, it was a beautiful game and I know that I've spent much more on games I got less enjoyment out of. If we keep looking at gift horses in the mouth, gift horses that have received very positive reviews, we're bound to end up with a lot less of them. So lets get our minds out of the clearance bin gutter, and pay what a game deserves.

So if you're still on the fence, be it because of the price or the game itself, it's time to finally fall over to the side where everyone is $15 lighter, but much more rich in happiness. Best thing of all is that if you don't bite now, you won't have to worry about buying it off some jerk in Utah for $65.

Here I am, Armed with a Bionic Commando UPDATE

If you read my previous Bionic Commando: Rearmed post, you saw that I mentioned a secret area I was having a hard time with. You probably know the one, you had to blow open the passage with a grenade and with the "aid" of a flare navigate this areas collection of stalagtites and stalagmites. You probably also beat it on your second, possibly even first try.

Well, I did it! Pat me on the back, Commandos!

I decided I'd just beat the level first, just to unwind from my many failed attempts. I fought this awesome guy who looked like he got booted out of a civil war re-enactment for drinking too much. Alchohol will do that to you. I threw a couple grenades at him, like this WHOOSH WHOOSH. And then they exploded all "WHICK-CHHHHHHH" like. And he was all like "I WAS $10,000 IN DEBT ANYWAYS," as he blew to bits.

After such encouragement, I threw myself back at that "charming" puzzle from earlier, and I beat it. It still took me a bit, but I tinkered with where I grappled from and everything went A-OK.

And the present waiting for me? A Yashichi. I dunno either. Guess I'm not hardcore enough. The game's database says it's some Capcom nostalgia, and since my parents bought me the worst NES games, I was too busy with Dick Tracy to know what a Capcom was.

Why the PS3 chatpad misses the point

I wish this business about a chatpad coming out for the PS3 was nothing but malarky, but nay, tis true.

I don't want to dislike something so quickly, but I think Sony is overlooking this "chatting" thing. Overlooking is an odd choice though, I mean, this little strap-on is for chatting and other text-inputting needs. But MSN-esque chatting is pretty bare bones when its big cousin, Voice McChat, is living right next door.

All this funding that's going into this device could be better used to either A) promote the Playstation Eye as a mic, a point that gets lost in the shuffle, or B) throw in a lame but servicable USB mic into the PS3's cardboard box. This is something that Microsoft did with the 360, and it's incredibly rare to find an online game where people aren't talking it up (which has it's fair share of curses as well).

Much like the 360, the PS3 too has a healthy amount of games that become so much better when voice chat is thrown in. Metal Gear Online, where the lives are spent quickly and the booze is free, would be a much better experience if mic use became the norm and not the exception. It relies very heavily on teamwork, much more than a lot of similar games on the market, and people stray from the pack far too often. Being able to talk amongst eachother would increase the likelihood of winning, and lessen the frustrations that come from a game with so many secretive features (plenty of games are filled with those who don't know how to play dead). The number of times where I've planted a mine, told my team, and eventually ended up with a "FRIENDLY FIRE: WEAPON LOCK" spread across my screen are too many to count.

I think Sony needs to make voice chat as wide spread as possible before they sell add-ons that don't benefit gameplay. During an online bout, I'll never have the time to type out "Sniper on the northern roof" before a teammate bites it.

Smarten up Sony, or I'll continue to feed my online multiplayer needs on your competitors console.