Pressing Buttons

Another podcast? Yes. Expect plenty of them.

apIt is with this link that I promote the first official episode of Nitrobeard. We have recorded two other podcasts that are pretty much Nitrobeard episodes, it's just that we didn't think of that name yet.

So yeah, we talk about Ratchet and Clank: Quest for Booty, The Orange Box, Wario Land Shake It!, and most importantly, Spore's DRM and why everyone who rants about it are big, fat babies.

I'm gonna quote my co-host, Wes, for this next bit, just because he writes awesome show notes.

Welcome to the first official Nitrobeard podcast! Wes is joined by Tyler Ohlew and Brian Belida, and they’re throwing it down ’special style’.

Topics covered are Ratchet and Clank: Quest For Booty, Warioware: Shake It, Company of Heroes,  EA and Spore’s DRM (and why people are overreacting), ITunes, George Lucas, and best of all, Tyler’s triumphs in Half Life 2.

Also, we say goodbye to Jeff Green and Shawn Elliot, two amazing gaming journalists. No, they aren’t dead, but they’ve left the press for game devlopment, and we as freelance journalists are shedding a collective tear. In tribute, we have 1up FM’s ‘Cake vs. Pie’ legendary battle between the two titans. Good luck in the future, gentlemen. You’ll be missed. 1up won’t be the same!

Thanks, Wesley!

Brodeo'n makes me feel good

When life is at its darkest, a podcast will come and bring the light.

If I read into Ryan Scott's latest blog just so, I can make out what I believe to be the return of the Brodeo.

With Jeff Green's and Shawn Elliott's departure from 1Up, only Ryan Scott was left to bare the GFW Radio world on his shoulders. So, it was properly put down to sleep. Well, GFW Radio/The Brodeo as it was has bitten the dust. But it looks like something new might be cooking.

Through the best analogy ever, Scott likened The Brodeo to The Real Ghostbusters cartoon show. It eventually ended its run, fondly remembered. But years later, a new show came about, entitled Extreme Ghostbusters. Yes, it came at a time when extemeiosity was at its highest, but forgive it. It was a cartoon show, it needed kids to watch it. And who's going to watch a show called The New Ghostbusters when you could go out and punch someone in the face while drinking Mountain Dew.

So Extreme Ghosbusters it was.

What's important here is that Egon appeared on both programs, serving as a mentor in the most recent. Ryan Scott is Egon. The Brodeo is back.

And the world is beautiful again.

Ravenholm bite's the dust

  Half Life 2 has been a thorn in my side for months now. Any longer and I would have reached a year's worth of overcoming my wussy fears.

But only moments ago I conquered Ravenholm, Half Life 2's twisted version of hell.

And now that I'm done, I look back and wonder just why I was so afraid? So what if a couple zombies jumped out and said boo? Do a couple scary moments justify edging through the area so damn slowly?

Of course, I'm always much more brave after the fact. Once I beat Resident Evil 4, I considered the thing a baby ride for children.

As soon as I exited Ravenholm into bright daylight, one of its inhabitants made it's way towards me. "One of those quick zombies out in Sunshine Ville?" I asked. "Ppphhh. You're in my world now, punk." I quickly disposed of the miscreant, and he had it coming.

With chest out and arms slowly swaying front to back, I made my way down the road. A group of slowpoke zombies were up ahead. Suddenly, a swarm of bullets rained upon them from above. "YES!" I thought to myself, "The welcoming commitee is here!" I rushed forward, turned to face them, and those "friendly" bullets found their way to my face.

So I died. Rather quickly. I decided that they were probably not on my side of the fight.

But after getting out of Ravenholm, I ran into the worst of problems.

Inside of a "tricked out" dune buggy, the game went haywire and threw the vehicle and I down and through the game world. The game froze, and I had to turn off my system. But even after repeatedly turning my system off, and back on, the three most recent saves I had would all result in the same thing.

I had no idea what to do. Would I start fresh, and endure Ravenholm once more? Oh hells no.

Lucky for me, a save existed that was an hour or so back from my most recent. Luckily it pulled through, and I was able to further stick it to the Combine.

Like podcasts? You do!? Great, here's one.

If you think "Hey, I wonder what this dope sounds like. I bet he sounds real dumb," then why not click your mouse over here, and download some podcasts that just may feature the dope you speak of. In particular, Episodes 10 and 11. But to be even more particular, 11 is a sign of things to come.

Basically Wes Gardner and myself are forming a blog called Nitrobeard. We figured that sites with gaming related puns in their name were not the rarest of occurances, so we settled on Nitrobeard. If you listen to the aforementioned podcast number eleven, you'll see the name is recommended by Brian Belida, a friend of mine. After little debate, Wes and I figured it was the best name around.

As for when the blog will show up, it's kind of unknown. But, we will be delivering you a podcast as regularly as a bran filled Grandma poops.

Identity theft...but who's the culprit??

Box art is a pretty tricky thing.

For some odd reason, people put way too much importance on a game's packaging. Of course, there are examples of both good and bad, but they are hardly anything worth discussing.

It's when you start noticing trends that you become a little more observant. Suddenly, the likelihood of a game arriving on store shelves with a protagonist pointing his massive gun at you increased ten fold. And the probability that you would notice this would increase eleven fold. A designers disregard for our tastes made their efforts stand out even more than those that tried.

But now, a new trend has happened upon us.

The hand.

EA is spearheading the effort with both Dead Rising and Left4Dead. One could argue that while Dead Rising is purely their decision, I imagine they muscled their "partners" at Valve to raise awareness of the importance of a character's hands.

It's such an odd trend, I'm worried that we'll be seeing outstretched hands all over our local retailer's shelves. Is this the direction we want to go? Feet I can understand, hell, a navel might not be that bad either. But a hand? Their all veiny and needy, crying out for moisturizer and other such creams. A foot toughs it out though. Have you felt the bottom of your feet? Hard as all heck isn't it? You don't hear any complaining.

When will it be the foot's time to shine, EA? When? 

I promised myself I wouldn't cry...

The following isn't so much sappy as it is gushy, but even that descriptor will likely turn you away. If you want a better insight into who I stalk or wish I could stalk, read on. If you'd rather not be an accomplice, read some old post, or maybe the one above this. It's up to you, I don't control your eyes and mind.

The two people I look towards to the most in this industry have left the nest, and are building new, fancier ones elsewhere. Both Jeff Green (former editor-in-chief of Computer Gaming World/Games for Windows Magazine) and Shawn Elliott (former editor of GFW and aspects of 1Up) have left 1Up.com, leaving me searching for a new subject of admiration. But, I don't think anyone can fill their shoes.

Since I'm a journalism student and am hoping to somehow become a video game journalist (in a way that wouldn't require me to move to America's west coast), I couldn't have bound a better pair to influence how I write. Both in their work and their podcasts, I was able to scrounge together a list of do-not commandments. Going against these words would send me to journalism hell, where I would toil with the likes of rumour mongerers and message board trolls. I admit that before I knew of these two, I would litter my work with cliches and phrases that wore out alongside "All your base" jokes. But with their tales of unpublished works and industry embarassments, I was able to write something that meant a lot more to me.

Jeff Green was (and still is over at his new blog) able to talk about a game like no one else. It was like he existed somewhere where the hype and anxiety behind a game's release didn't factor in, and he could just play the damn thing. You didn't have to hear about how awful the Wii was, or why the PC version was obviously superior. Instead you got just what you needed to hear; whether the game was good or not. And that was something I will always admire. Sometimes I can get caught up in the balogna surrounding a game's release, or criticize what the majority thinks of it. But Green was like condensed soup, you got all you need in as little a product as possible.

Shawn Elliott was able to make me laugh. But he was also able to make me think and observe a lot more than I'd ever thought of. His writing was just so unique, and that's why I worry we won't be able to enjoy it as much as before. When I first heard him mention he used to write for EGM, I dug out my old issues to hunt down some of his work. It's hard to describe, but he's able to make it seem like he's writing about something else, when really he's been talking about Game Y the whole time. It's a style I've never seen emulated anywhere, and while we're better off for that, it's also sad to see no one else put out that same effort Elliott has.

So with Shawn over at 2K Boston (working with Bioshock creator Ken Levine) and Jeff at the Sims team over at EA, it's a bit scary. When will they ever be able to write and speak like they did at 1Up? Is it even possible? Or will they be treated like the Gap employee who can't smoke outside because they now represent the store? And with the industry working as it does, the person you bemoan today could be your boss tomorrow.

No matter what happens, their happiness is most important. Screw what I want. I wouldn't want anyone condemning my decisions, and I would never do the same.

Best of luck to Shawn and Jeff, hopefully we continue to hear from them.

Ride shotgun with a blown up corpse

So Pandemic and EA released a new video to promote Mercenaries 2. Post-release promotion is the new hottest thing. There were ads for Resistance last year, and the bike update for Burnout Paradise is being heavily promoted. And I think I saw a Resident Evil 3 commercial yesterday.

Anyways, this new video shows off the various feats you can pull off in the game. I'd be lucky to pull off a single one, let alone survive it.

But I did notice one thing. And it turned my stomach...into a monster. The bad kind.

Here we have our protagonist sitting atop an occupied tank. Quickly after this shot, the driver disapear back into the tank.

Here is a post-grenade shot. To be more specific, a hand grenade was just thrown into the tank, following the driver into hull hull.

With the grenade on the brink of exposion, our hero turns his back to the hatch, possibly avoiding the brains and eyeballs that could come flying out.

And here's where stuff gets crazy. The merc gladly pops the hatch back open, and goes inside this freshly decorated tank, paying no mind to the mulch of tissue and bone strewn about. I mean, he's got junk to blow up, he can live with the remnants of a human being dripping around him. I can barely go into a bathroom stall after it's been used, I can't imagine occupying the same space of a dead person.

That is messed up.

Maybe you never live this down, Pandemic!

But the other stuff is awesome, so thanks.

Master Chief and Ryan Payton: Power Couple

The old mills are churning out more than flour over at Kotaku. A very reliable source (has anyone ever posted news from an unreliable source?) has foretold the announcement of a certain Ryan Payton working for Microsoft Games Studio on the much whispered about "Halo Chronicles." At this point it'll probably end up being a book or some such.

But, in order to punch it up a few chapters, Ryan "The Mayton" Payton will bring his idea-man prowess to the title. I call him an idea-man because that's how I kind of see him. I'm not sure of what his exact duties were at Kojima Productions, but I do know that he induced the Metal Gear series with some of that sweet, American flavour. He took NASCAR, KFC's chicken bowls, and a cup of Starbucks and smooshed it all in with that Japanese tomfoolery, to make a game much more palpable for Western tastes. Outside of coming up with ideas of how to make Metal Gear better, I'm not sure what he did.

So now with Payton supposedly working at Microsoft, what exactly does that mean for Halo? Will he be making the game more Japan-esy this time around? He rumoured as being the creative director for the game, which seems appropriate.

It's a little early to consider this as little more than "cool", simply because there's no real evidence of this being good or bad news. I say that because while Payton is a creative person, it's hard to tell how much of his previous work was his own (and it really was only MGS4 that he took a more hands-on role).

No matter how you wanna look at it, it's great to have someone so respected working on one of the biggest franchises in gaming. If you haven't listened to the Kojima Productions Report, you should consider it. It's a bit dated now, post-MGS4, but it's still a great insight into the development of such a huge game. Hopefully he can find time to do the same with whatever he ends up working on next.

Aim for the moon, Ryan. If you miss, you'll still end up in the stars.
- Margaret Thatcher 

Quality bubbles to the top

When you see this...

I wouldn't condemn anyone who isn't a misinformed parent/guardian for immediately thinking "Wow, I wouldn't donate that piece of garbage if I had to."

There's just so much wrong. Exclusive to Toys R Us can't be a good sign, the only thing that Toys R Us's game department should have as an exclusive is that blank stare I receive when I ask a question.

And Eidos? Those guys are still around? One good Tomb Raider game a year can really keep you afloat I suppose.

The one thing that just forces your eyes and mind into another direction is the art. Why is some nose-less punk blowing hot air at a bunch of Meteos characters? And I'm not sure if I trust those owls or not. What side of justice do they fall on?

But here's the thing. You can't let this stuff stop you from picking this beast up. I know that you've probably built a natural defense system around yourself, not allowing your hands to transfer cash over to a sales associate in exchange for something that would otherwise go unnoticed. But you need to shut that off, and realise that everything you've thought to be true is worth nothing.

Once this thread popped up at neoGaf, I knew I was through. I had to get my hands on it, further yellowing my pure white DS with nervous hand sweat. Since I can't find the damn thing up here, I got a friend in the U.S. to mail me up a copy. And wouldn't you know it, he did!

And it was completely worth it. I think I knew I was in for something special when the game's screen instructed me to "Touch the Touch Screen to Continue." Now, if you own a DS or have played one, you know that this is common. But the thing is, more often than not, you can just press any old button to advance. Not with Soul Bubbles though, you have to hit the touch screen, or you're going nowhere. That, my friends, is rare.

Perfectly respectable opinions aside, I'd have to consider this game a platformer. Using your stylus, you push around bubble-encased cargo around a level, guiding it so it gets to the end goal safe and sound. Aiding you are three masks, one that slices the large bubble into several smaller ones for easier transport, another that creates new bubbles, and lastly one that pops any useless bubbles. What hinders you on the other hand is much more varied. The environment offers plenty of twists and turns, many of which lead you into the throes of enemies who want your precious cargo. What makes them interesting is how you take them out. Cutting a frog's tongue, dousing a bomb with water, or simply tapping a crow's feathers clean off, there's plenty of variety found here.

Strewn throughout the stages are hidden items, and finding them takes a keen eye. There's lots of tiny slits in the stages that hide crevices which house just the goods your looking for. So, as well as being a platformer, there's plenty of puzzles to be found.

As a final note, the game's boxart is a bad example of what you'll find stored away on the cartridge. Hell, even the manual plays home to better drawings. The game's visuals are definitely charming, and I'm reminded of Lost Winds as I play. I cannot look any more forward to what Mekensleep has in store for us next.

The true benefits begin...

I believe I've made some mention in the past of my subscription to Qore, which depending on how rational a being you are, is best described in one of three ways: 1) Sony's online magazine with some nifty exclusives, 2) Sony's way of aping Xbox Live without manning up to it, 3) A cheap way to milk money out of fans.

Seeing as how I'm a subscriber (free copy of Calling All Cars will do that to you), it's probably apparent how I feel. But them's the breaks. People are complaining about the exclusives Qore's netting, but, I chose to pay $25 for a year, and they're repaying me. Sounds about right. I'm not so much paying for admittance into the SOCOM beta as I am paying for a video-magazine with that beta thrown in as a "special thanks to the fans."

So why am I going on and on about this much-discussed issue?

Why, the first fruits of the exclusive-to-Qore fiasco has arrived! Well, there's been a few crappy things I've "managed" to get my hands on, but a demo for Motorstorm: Pacific Rift far outweighs some lame-o themes and backgrounds.

Even though the game is arriving nearly 2 years after it's predecessor, there's not this shocking sense of innovation of originality. But it's not Motorstorm with a green coat of paint either. It's still the same Motorstorm you (possibly) know and love, but with some excellent tweaks. As far as the racing goes, Evolution continues to manage the delicate balance of simulation and arcade racer. As long as the retail release doesn't bend too far over into tht former category, I'm as cool as a cucumber. While you have a boost meter for that arcadey experience, you also have to brake every once and a while, which is nuts considering most games should do the constant acceleration for you.

It's a one stage demo, but you can also play it in split-screen, which is huge for all those gamers whining for offline mulitplayer. On this track, you can play with a motorcycle, truck-car thing, and a monster truck (Snake Bite is not available it seems...). I had the most fun with the motorcycle, but when the original Motorstorm came out, I had no affinity with any one vehicle. Like a polygamist husband, each vehicle was equal in my eyes. I just adored the way it handled, but the monster truck was a disgusting joy. Mowing through the course and your opponents is a blast, but is is easy to focus on that destruction more than the race at hand. A sober mind will better balance the two.

You can tell from the demo that yes, Pacific Rift does indeed take place on the namesake island, but you don't get the impression that the venue has truly changed. That's a major ding against this demo (which is the most absurd thing to say), none of what MS: PR promises isn't found in the demo. There's some new gameplay elements (side swiping your opponents a the cost of some boost), but you use them on a track that seems like a retread of the first game's courses, except with a smattering of green.

But hey, it's awful to judge a demo so early on in the game. I am having a ball, and that's what's most important; watching a motorcyclist's body crumple under the weight of a monster truck.

As for future Qore awesome-sauce, I believe I get the SOCOM Confrontation later today, and the Resistance 2 beta later this month. Tis good to be $25 less the richer.