Pressing Buttons

No patience for patents

To the gentlemen out there that scour patent sites for days on end for the gaming populace's benefit, you're going to think I'm a total turd by the end of this. Hell, you may feel that way already. But what is our absurd fascination with whatever never-to-be inventions Nintendo, Sony, or Microsoft come up with?

For days and days we'll laugh at the expense of the Wii's horsebag, or contemplate a future where the PS3 becomes sentient based off the emotions we've fed it based off the findings that are quickly reported to all major gaming sites and blogs.

This is slowly becoming as awful as countdown sites to later countdowns, another one of gaming's embarassments.

I just can't get jazzed about this kind of news. For starters, how could I get excited about these types of devices? With nothing in front of me, why concern myself with possibilities when nothing will likely come out of it. These patents are just as acts of forthought, much like registering ps3slim.com and Wiihd.com. It's just to get the jump on anyone else, nothing more.

I'm positive that someone unearthed a dual-screened handheld patent from Nintendo far before the DS came into existence, and those that paid any mind to this type of news were far ahead of the curve. But you know what was even greater? When the DS was actually announced, and the thing was not nearly as ridiculous looking as those artist renderings found in the patents.

Making headlines through the various trademarks filed by publishers and developers is an even worse matter. Look around you to see the shattered lives of those still hoping for the trademarked Chrono Break. Even the development side is taking aim at the ridiculousness of it all.

The easiest solution would be for me to simply relax, and let these types of "leaks" sort themselves out. But maybe I can cobble and army together, and lessen those page hits just a bit, putting focus back on the real news and editorials.

BirdCats await you

The hardest part about anticipation is that of the unknown. Looking forward to the latest installment in a series comes with its own set of luxuries. Most importantly of all is that you kind of know what to expect. One's mind never wandered over the possibilities of what a sequel to 2007's Call of Duty 4 might bring, because you knew that no matter what extras they throw on, you're going to be iron-sighting baddies in unnamed exotic lands.

But it's the unknown that makes me sweat.

All we've known about Team Ico's next game can easily be listed without any need to search for references:

• there's no way in hell it will actually be called Trico
• if you think it's going to be shown at the next upcoming gaming convention, you're wrong (see E3 2007/2008, TGS 2007/2008, etc.)
• it'll cause further discussion in the "are games art" debate, at which time I'll zone out and say something like "But are games fart?"

And it's based off these few facts that makes these kind of anticipations the hardest to deal with. The "unannounced" are what drives me to insanity. Once I have a firm grip on what I'm in store for, I become a much more sedated individual.

But I don't think the leaked Trico trailer helps me out much. Because of how hard the fact that this is barely even a concept video is bored into my mind, I'm still left wondering just what I should be looking forward to. It's exciting to have a peek at what Team Ico have cooking in the lovin' oven, but it's heartbreaking knowing there's the possibility that the final product won't be anything like what is shown. Hopefully the final product will retain this element of pairing Ico's and Shadow of the Colossus's gameplay. I will try to remain patient for the 21st century's interpretation of My Pet Monster.

Hopefully the disgust I read for CatBird doesn't blossom any further, as it's something that I believe to be both badass and cute.. Not since Catbus have I been so happy to see a cat rammed into something else.

Oh, and if you like the music from the trailer, I found out it's from Miller's Crossing. Which in turn pulled it from something else. But I don't know what that original source is, so Miller's Crossing wins.

Life's a Beat-ch

If you were able to see inside my room, you’d observe that my pants are slumped over in the corner. That is because they have been charmed off by the likes of New Play Control Donkey Kong Jungle Beat, and Klonoa. I say charmed because the truth is far more grotesque. But, if you have an iron stomach, inviso-text will reveal what regular text cannot. There’s actually nothing shady going on here. It’s not as if some manic monkey ripped them off of me while that dastardly rabbit boy held me down, they both just star in really great game.

I was worried that my repeat trip into Jungle Beat would reek far too much of a double dip. So at first I bought it on the promise of new content, and also because I do most of my gaming at night, so slapping my palms on fake plastic bongos isn’t the nicest way to show gratitude for a roof over my head. So it became a pretty easy buying decision, one that lacked the usual buyers remorse I encounter each and every time (no matter the game I always regret spending  over $50 on anything). And because of how familiar I am with its Gamecube iteration, I’m really surprised by how different this new fangled Wii version is.

Say what you’d like about the New Play Control line thus far, but it’s pretty clear that aside from a more streamlined control method, you are still playing the same game. Pikmin’s fundamentals of escaping a terrifying planet remained intact in the move to the Wii. And the rules of tennis didn’t receive any tinkering just because you can now swing your arm to smack a ball around in Mario Power Tennis. But Jungle Beat is a significant change. It sounds silly, but the Wii version’s more traditional health system changes the game. I’m a bit hesitant to tack on a “for the better” at the end there, because it’s just different.

Basically, in the old Jungle Beat, your health worked much like Sonic’s rings do. As you go through the level, you collect bananas and attempt to build up multiplier combos as you do so. If you get hurt, you lose some of those bananas. At the end of each kingdom (which itself is made up of two standard platforming stages and a boss fight), your bananas are counted, and you’re rewarded based on your end count. But what the Wii’s Jungle Beat does differently is keep your banana count and health separate, as your health is indicated through a more traditional three heart system. Get hit, lose a half of a heart, but your bananas are untouched.

What I like so much about this new system is that it pays to be a bit more experimental. With that thought of, “Well, if I get hurt my bananas will take a hit,” in the back of your mind, I was always less likely to take chances. But in knowing that my experiment could pay off without affecting my banana horde, I have been exploring every which way. While it’s odd that such an imaginative game has been injected with something so antiquated, it still manages to work really well.

One change I’m surprised wasn’t made was in regards to the controls. Yes, they have been changed, but Nintendo didn’t make the awkward misstep I imagined they would have. Since it was played with the bongos, in the original Jungle Beat you slapped left and right to move in those directions. Naturally, I believed Nintendo would have us waggle with the remote and nunchuk to move everyone’s favourite kidnaper, similar to their previous Gamecube to Wii re-imagining; DK Barrel Blast. But instead, you control Donkey with the analog stick, simple as that. The one thing I find odd is that you now waggle to have Donkey create that sound wave around him. On the Gamecube, this would have him grab onto whatever was around him, which included bananas. On the Wii, he’ll still grab onto bosses, enemies, and whatnot, but he won’t make any effort to grab hold of bananas. Instead, you hit A to do that now. I didn’t figure this out until I noticed my awful banana counts at the end of each kingdom (grabbing bananas with Kong’s hands continues a combo, just touching them does not). It was a really odd choice that complicates things, and I’d love to know the reasoning behind it.

While the New Play Control line-up seems like it lacks a genuine effort to make these titles play like genuine Wii games, don’t lump Jungle Beat in that category. It’s just worthy of your time.

Wishing ill will

Good lord, if you haven’t updated your RSS feeds, do so right this instant. There’s this awe-inspiring article at the TimesOnline that just crumbles Nintendo’s bright future.

But I recommend you only give it a read if you haven’t read the hundreds of previous articles, blogs, rants, and public outbursts that have made the rounds since the Wii’s release.

Is this just the easiest way to generate traffic from the gaming community? It’s amazing just how often this type of story pops up and prompts pages and pages of “discussion.” I guess it’s too time consuming to write about something worthwhile or interesting. I’d even settle for an article that wasn’t a total waste of mine and the author’s time.

It is odd that not everyone faces this same degree of scrutiny. Microsoft and its Xbox 360 sit in a very comfortable place, nestled in the sweater blanket of public opinion if you will. For starters, you got pretty much anyone who matters to the core gaming audience relishing every slight made against the Wii, and then those same people making educated comments such as “The PS3 has no games.”

Maybe console sales are a realm where no one but those financially invested should bother. Should we really be sticking our necks out and play prophet, predicting which consoles and games will rise and fall?

The easiest thing to do is just sit back and play the games. If you can’t hide your arousal for all things anti-Wii, that’s alright, but you don’t have to behave like a modern day David with a degree in journalism, taking down video game Goliaths for page hits.

Let’s just play the games that we want to play, and ignore those that we don’t. Why dwell on negativity? I don’t work for Nintendo, so why bother commenting on their Japanese sales? Do I honestly understand every area of their business? Fluctuating Yen? Worldwide recession? I do, however, know that I want to play Punch-Out!!, and that’s all that should really matter. Discussing how Punch-Out!! fits into the continuity of the Mario universe is far more suitable to our hobby, not that I'd encourage that exact essay.

 

Feeling Riddickulous

I don’t think I’ve ever been more confused by a game then the time I’ve spent with The Chronicles of Riddick: Escape from Dark Athena.  Playing a game is pretty cut and dry, either I like it or I don’t. There’s never really been that middle ground for me. In every facet of my life, you get a super thin chance to get placed in my good books.

But with Riddick, I’m running behind a bandwagon that’s housing a ton of really happy people. I can see them really enjoying themselves, talking about how great a bandwagon it truly is. But I can’t seem to make that jump on board. The bandwagon has a lot of rusty nails, and it smells of soiled diapers. And it’s warty.

I’m a few hours in, and I’m certainly enjoying myself. But I keep feeling as if the game is purposely putting me through the ringer. At times, I feel as if it can’t make up its mind as to what it wants to be. The game places a focus on melee combat and skulking around the prison’s shadows. That is, when it doesn’t go through an identity crisis and wants you to be the new sheriff in town, blasting your foes away. There’s been a few times when I feel as if I’m supposed to sneak around the jail guards, or I believe I should, considering the environment is steeped with shadows. But after many failed attempts, the easiest thing to do is simply shoot the dude. And by easiest, I also mean it was the only way. No amount of shadow play could allow me to advance any further.

I’m not letting these problems mar the game completely; I’m still enjoying a very original and creative game. But I hope the problem is remedied soon, or else Riddick will be labeled as “two faced”, perhaps even enter the “shady” territory popularized by Lauren Conrad of The Hills. And it will not like living among the ranks of Spencer Pratt, I can tell you that much.

From zero to sixty

I honestly couldn't have had any less interest in Rabbids Go Home unless it actually came packed in with a vial of the Ebola virus.

But now, in lieu of some very important information, I feel quite differently, and as such, have realized I'm quite shallow.

Ubisoft Montpellier is the developer. And this has officially become my most anticipated title of the year.

I've got the new Nintendo Power which broke the news right beside me. And it's beside me now because an article that I originally planned on ignoring has become one that I need to read right away.

In the beginning, I believed that Ubisoft's Paris team would be the ones behind the game. And according to my brain, nothing good has come from them.

I still recommend Rayman Raving Rabbids to the masses. It's a great game. But I can't bring myself to recommend its sequels. Ubisoft Paris took something beautiful and threw it into a seatbelt-less bumper car, saying only one thing before it go ripped to shreds by its bear-driven competition; "Have fun."

But it looks like the series is back at home with it's creator, Michel Ancel. You may remember that name if you're from the future, as it later becomes a worldwide holiday where we celebrate his genius.

I become an even worse individual for not knowing much else about the game. But the dude tied his name to a King Kong game, and look how that turned out. The guy just can't produce anything less than spectacular. He may have single-handedly kicked off the mini-game collection craze on the Wii, and I still can't condemn him.

So while I may be shallow, I am for all the right reasons.

Should I even care anymore?

It seems like Valve can't help but remind all us 360 owners that the update to their 2007 hit Team Fortress 2 is still on the way.

So I can only hope that the reason only a select few still play the thing is that there's a multitude of players waiting in protest for this massive update.

Maybe that's why this thing is taking so long. Valve's kinship with gamers is due to their good nature of supplying free content to their consumers. While this is happening with Left4Dead, it's entirely possible that this whole TF2 on 360 thing is kind of dead in the water. Dumb thing to say considering the above link, but honestly, with all these excuses for its delay, it's very possible the one dude working on it will call it quits. Why waste time on something that so few will enjoy? On the 360, it's obvious that you're merely a flash in the pan if you don't supply it constant updates and content. Valve came up short on that end of the bargain, which is why it won't appear on Xbox Live's activity list ever again.

Maybe Valve's just pushing me to the PC version.

Nintendo's kicking my butt, and I love it

Nintendo's Satoru Iwata is talking all sorts of junk up on stage, and it's the kind of junk I've been waiting to hear.

So far nothing really groundbreaking game wise, but I can finally save and load WiiWare and Virtual Console titles from my SD card. No more deleting games I haven't come close to finishing just so I can download new ones I'll never finish!

Bit.Trip.Beat, here I come!

I'm re-downloading all those great, old anbusted games I passed off just to enjoy the new hotness.

Donkey Kong Country 2? How quickly I forgot I had you! Love me once more!

Looks like a new, albeit tiny, WarioWare is coming out for DSiWare. Count me and my homely face in.

A new Zelda for DS? Sim-Railroad: Zelda Edition it sounds like...oh, actually it sounds like The Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks. Close enough.

Let's hype ourselves up for a letdown!

I can't help but let myself get excited around these conferences and trade shows the game industry seems to be so fond of. But honestly, outside of E3 and Tokyo Gameshow, you're not really going to be hearing all that much. E3 has caught the mainstream press's attention, so why show off your creamiest of the crop at something like the now defunt Leipzig.

And now I'm going through the motions once again. This time it's brought about by the Game Developers Conference.

Havok is working outside of physics engines and is developing a system for artificial intelligence?!? And the video of said product makes no sense to me, and doesn't even seem all that impressive?!!?

As we head into what I believe is the third day, nothing has really been all too interesting.

But, maybe there is a sliver of hope.

Sam Kennedy over at 1Up said that Satoru Iwata has some pretty cool surprises in store. And the Nintendo fan inside me roars with delight. Once such announcement makes Kennedy "giddy". But what could that really mean for me? For all I know, the dude really loves Clu Clu Land, and a DSi Ware port will be announced. Big whoop.

Tim Schafer is gonna bust some heads on Wednesday, too, so what more could I ask for? Oh, yeah. Streaming video of these keynotes. Live blogs stopped being cool when people took it to mean transcribing junk no one needs to know about.

Platinum Games disproves rumours of a FadWorld

Or better yet, of a BadWorld.

You know. Because the Wii is said to be a fad and that the game could've turned out badly.

Since I felt the need to explain it, those were probably some jokes the world could have lived without.

However, what the world most certainly needs is a little bit of me congratulating myself on a job well done. See, almost a year ago, I said MadWorld was going to be awesome. And guess what? I don't look stupid now that the game is out. Success!

MadWorld is a tough cookie. Just about every negative thing you hear about the game is true (with some feeling the pain more than others). If there were such a disease as repeativitus, MadWorld could be seen as suffering from it. The music, commentary, and elements of gameplay repeat themselves constantly.

Some would say, "Well, that's a bit too much for me. I like game's like I like my bread; fresh and a little crusty."

But I don't feel that way. I can't feel that way. Because my pants have been charmed off of my persons.

MadWorld dresses to impress. People will often say a movie, novel, or videogame is more than just the sum of its parts. But I say that MadWorld is the sum of its parts, and that is what makes it so much fun.

There's something about rushing into a rough and tumble environment, chainsaw hand revving, signpost in tow, a cutting hip-hop sountrack, and a couple of jerk's narrating your every move. You may have already thrown a garbage can over the last 10 schmucks who got in your way, but in MadWorld, you don't have time to worry about one upping yourself with each and every kill. You just worry about surviving.

 

When your sole gameplay element is killing dudes, you can easily run into some trouble along the way. How do you make it engaging enough that it can carry an entire game? It's through sheer volume that MadWorld keeps the fun afloat. While you may have dispersed of the last three guys via an oversized circular saw, you can always mix it up with the next 20. You'll be fighting a lot of guys throughout your journey, and it just never grew old for me. Much like No More Heroes fighting system, I never got bored of it. And even now, post completion, I'm still hearing of new ways to decimate my foes. And that is what makes MadWorld such a blast to play.

Squash any worries of pre-conceived notions you have regarding the game. Everything about it just works. As its release drew near, I was thinking that perhaps MadWorld wouldn't be the game for me. I haven't really been one for beat-em-ups. But I was wrong. MadWorld is for everybody.

Well, if you have a Wii that is. One last thing I have to say about MadWorld concerns just where it calls home. Can we all please get over just how much more intelligent our business decisions are and just enjoy a game on the console it plays on? Why must be pine and moan about why a Wii game is a Wii game? MadWorld looks and plays perfectly on the Wii. I'm happy playing it on the Wii. Why isn't it on the 360, PS3, or PC? I don't know. Well, I do know, but motion controls aren't really a valid reason anymore, supposedly. If you'd rather waste your time crying about how much better the textures would "pop" on the 360, why not go and wish away some of the more tragic events of human history.

Oh, and MadWorld made quick time events awesome again.