Technically Speaking

Hello! McFly, hello!

Now, I loved the Back to the Future series as much as anyone, but do I really want to spend this much money to bring back fond memories? Marty McFly's hoverboard from films II and III is up for grabs for - wait for it - $30,000. Yes, you read that right - $30,000. I'll have two. Is this piece of wood and plastic really worth that amount of money, after all, what would you do with it? Show it to your friends? "Here's my 'Back to the Future' hoverboard. Cost me $30,000 - what do you think?" The answer, "very nice, now where's my beer."

Face to face

In my misspent youth I got into the sub-culture of the wargamer. At that time we were talking about, it was specifically the tabletop recreations of historical battles using miniature figures. It was great fun and a tremendous learning experience not to mention a damn expensive one once it became serious. Later on I entered into the world of the 'magazine with a game in it' format of the venerable S&T (Strategy & Tactics) magazine now distributed by Decision Games. Over the years I have collected over 100 games from almost every time period in history - they are for sale now - e-mail me for a list. Anyway, the point I am making is this; in these days of electronic wargaming and the ubiquitous rise of the PC gamer, face-to-face wargaming is alive and well. In fact, in Europe, my brother has stayed with the miniatures gaming and is one of the top players on the international circuit. In Canada, the board wargaming world is thriving due to many grassroots organizations such as TABS. In fact, yesterday was their quarterly TABSCon and it was a real blast. I found a real mix of people of all ages and both sexes having a terrific day just mixing and meeting and playing a huge variety of games from the real hard-core military simulation to the more Risk-like family games. It was refreshing to see that the computer screen doesn't dominate our lives completly. I was moved to finally break out some of my games from the basement and re-learn them in preparation for the next 'con' later this year. If you have any interest in meeting people over a relaxing game or even just 'hanging out' then I urge you to look into this hobby and get away from that keyboard and mouse.

No words needed

I really can't think of anything to add or say about this site that you can't see for yourself. Just to say that it is obviously a labour of love and, dare I say it, pure fun. If only they were real.

Get thinking

What is this?. Think very carefully, it may not be as simple as you think.

Nearly fooled

So, did anyone see or hear any good April Fools pranks? No? I'm not surprised. In my experience, the North Americans have no idea of what makes a good prank - their ideas are just stupid: Toshiba to produce HD-DVD+ players. New wireless helmet and other strangeness for XBox 360. American Idol being canceled? You see what I mean - no imagination - not like the BBC. In past years the BBC has done some really clever stuff and not just spaghetti trees. There was one I remember that nearly convinced me that it was real. It appeared that a number of leading scientists had been vanishing without trace - this was actually true. The reason; they had been sent to a scientific station on Mars! It appears that the US had landed on Mars a few years earlier and where secretly exploring our red neighbor.To support this they had film showing the actual Mars landing (Moon landing conspiracy nuts rejoice) and depositions from various knowledgeable sources. I was really convinced that this was a real news item right up to the end when the credits rolled. Good old Auntie Beeb, they always have a date at the end of each show in roman numerals - unless it's an April Fools show - then it's in normal numbers. Yes - this one was a fake.

Dumb and dumber

Over the years I have heard just about every story about how silly and just plain dumb some people can be. I have always told people, that if you call for support, know your information in advance and listen to what you are told and read what is on your screen before answering questions. The other big thing to remember is the phrase, RTFM or Read The Flaming Manual. Of course another 'f'' word is used instead of 'flaming' - care to guess which one? Here is someone who believes everything they are told by a 'friend'. With friends like this, who needs enemies. I am always amazed that you hear stories that you just can't beleive, until it happens to you. Consider these:
'I have to plug it in'?
''I keep backups. I photocopy my disks every night'
Here's a classic - just think about the question;
'Are you using a corded or wireless 'phone'?
'I don't know'.
Huh?

Time to 'face' the music

Ever heard of 'sleevefacing'? No? Neither had I until I discovered this site the other day. Man, this is real neat and, in some cases, very clever stuff indeed. It makes me want to break out my albums and see what silliness I can come up with. This is one of those ideas that you say, 'I wish I had thought of that'. I understand that a book is also on the way full of this wonderful stuff. The first time I saw this was on an Abba album cover where they used their own publicity photos. This nice thing is that, with the web and all of it's various public posting sites, we can all share in this madness and add to it.

Well, that's the end of that

Here we are again, another year been and gone. Where does the time go? I think we can safely say that this was the year of the iPhone. I wonder what joys await us next year - more rubbish Apple ads that mislead and downright lie? Probably - at least the US ads are funner than the UK ones - check Youtube. Anyhoo, a very happy, healthy and wealthy New Year to all. See you in 2008

Take cover!

For the geek who has everything and has you  'stumped' for the perfect gift - here it is! The Space invaders scarf from Lendorff Kaywa for only around $70. Get yours now while stock lasts - I understand these are a very limited production item. Personally, I want a Doctor Who scarf - anyone willing to knit one for me? Now that would be really neat.

Sad, sad man

Think of it as evolution in action. Mr. Piotr Staniaszek, a 22-year-old in Alberta was a little startled to receive a bill for $85,000 from Bell Mobility for his cell 'phone usage. It appears that this clot thought he could use his new phone as a modem for his computer as part of his $10 unlimited browser plan. According to his father, also named Piotr (what imagination), his son thought he could download movies and other high-resolution files with no extra charges. Can you say 'read the contract'? I knew you could. I find it hard to believe that any reasonably intelligent young man could be so dumb - maybe he though he had found a loophole. Personally, I think that Bell have been quite reasonable, only expecting him to pony up $3,500. Mind you, they could have advised him of his escalating costs, surely once he went over a couple of grand he should have been contacted. One comment his father made had me in stitches and then made me think how sad this guy's life is. He said ' He's working in the field sometimes, alone, in the shack. What to do? Drink vodka or go on the Internet'?

Say it ain't so

It seems the reindeer are looking for a new gig. Santa now has his own hi-tech way of getting around! If you are stuck for that last present for the techno-geek in your life - this is it. Available from Brando for a paltry $25 or so, this silly thing is just so kitsch for Christmas that you simply must have one - or not. It seems that every year manufacturers feel the need to release these cheap, plastic, throw-away gadgets that are of no earthly use to anyone. In the hands of a determined toddler this will last about 2 nanoseconds, if that. Even the cat will finish this off in no time. But, hey, you want to waste your hard earned money - who am I to stop you. Knock yourself out.

No comment

Sometimes a website needs no introduction or explanation. Just enjoy this one.

Was it good for you?

So, Black Friday. Did any of you gets nuts enough to go down to the States nice and early for the bargains? I know that some of my son's friends decided to make their way south for a day or two - no news yet on whether they survived the madness or if they snagged any bargains. Let me know your stories and we can share them with the World - or just Durham - your choice.

Cleaning out my closet

I've been busy cleaning up our basement. It's amazing how much crap can accumulate over 3 1/2 years in a new house. It doesn't help that I have boxes with 20 odd years worth of simulation games from Strategy & Tactics and many others using up a corner - any collectors out there? Well, after 2 weeks of concentrated cleanup, I can finally see some light at the end of the tunnel - an oncoming train! Today, I attacked boxes that I hadn't even opened since we moved in - boy, what rubbish I collect. I threw out maybe 100 floppy disks both 3 1/2" and 5" for PC and other formats. Emptied a huge number of CD cases of useless and outdated software including 2 full spindles of CD's (200+) and a whole box load of cables and broken components - what in heavens name was I doing keeping them in the first place? I had forgotten that just throwing stuff into a box without checking whether I need it or not is a BAD idea. I never want to move again!

Get it away from me!

I know that Christmas is coming fast, but this is one present I do NOT want. I've seen cute stuff before just for girls, or what they think girls want. We have seen many robot-like toys and 'educational' devices such as Aibo or RoboSapiens, however, this just seems wrong somehow. This is the Sakura robot, which has a pretty pink outfit, weird hairdo and a futuristic skateboard. Apparently, she can say a few jokes, educate you with several 'fun facts and fashion tips' and play back five different songs. It just makes me shudder in horror. In addition, her board can be remotely controlled and, if  you build up a certain level of trust, you can record 'secrets' within that will only be repeated should you insert the right key. If you really must insult your intelligence and those of the recipient, buy one from here - not available in Canada - typical!

It's the beat, man!

Aaaarg! Say it ain't so! My son has purchased the new sensation 'Rock Band' from the US (not in Canada yet) and is getting ready to 'rock his world' and make mine a living hell of noise. If you have no idea of what I am talking about, I can only say, you soon will. This is probably the hottest thing to come down the pike since Guitar Hero and looks to blow that away. Now you and your (select) friends can have the full band experience with the game package including a guitar, drums and a microphone. Where in heavens name he will use this, I have no idea, but I have a sneaking suspicion that the basement will figure in this somewhere. Damn! I just finished clearing out the junk and throwing away the empty boxes. It just amazes me that with all the hoopla about violence in video games, the biggest hit is an air guitar. Now it's an air band. Go figure.

Busy, busy, busy

Quick blog, can't talk, lot's to do.........What am I doing? I'm busy building a nice big paper model from Fiddlers Green, a JU 52 Bomber in Spanish colours. It's a beauty and seems to be a very nice model indeed. So far I have most of the fuselage done and will be starting on the wings soon - that will be an adventure. I do have one problem though, where the heck to put it when I'm done. Soon there will be another big (I mean BIG!) model coming, the ME 321 Gigant transport. I don't know if I will attempt that one, it may be too much for me. Ooops, I hear the call of the air - I'm off.

Evolution in progress

It seems that the argument between creationism and evolution will just not go away despite the constant debunking of the pseudo-science of creationism. It may be comforting to think that there is a benign presence watching over us and directing our lives from cradle to grave, however I believe that the universe is more than that, a wonderful, scary and more miraculous place than we can imagine. Think of the technology today and try to explain how a cell-phone or a television works to other people - tough, isn't it? Now think of how your great-grandparents would see these modern 'miracles'.  As Arthur C. Clarke would say, 'Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic'. I don't think that it's  bad thing to say 'it's magic' when you don't understand how something works - after all, isn't it the magic around us that makes us wonder at the universe round us. Sorry to sound so 'preachy' today - it's a day of rest and reflection. Oh, and the picture - that's my cat showing how technically gifted she is.

My election rant

Everyone has an election rant today - here's mine - enjoy. I am reminded of a quote from H. G. Wells in the preface to the War in the Air; 'I told you so. You damned fools'. Before the recent municipal and yesterday's provincial fiascoes - oops, I mean elections, I predicted that Miller would be mayor of Toronto again despite his obvious failings and that the liar McGuinty would be re-elected. It just proves to me that the population of Ontario and specifically Toronto have no political or social memory beyond yesterday. How else to explain the overwhelming victory of a party that was panned by just about everyone you spoke to or listened to on radio or television. The main issues with any election remain constant and are the main reasons why we get the results we do. Firstly is the pathetic turnout (50% this time), then are the people that vote for a particular party no matter what, then those that just vote for the hell of it and have no idea of who to vote for and, finally, those who are swayed by the last argument they hear. It seems that no-one (or very few) looks at the track record and makes a informed decision. I bet you that people with autistic children didn't vote Liberal. Ah well! Lets just sit back and see how much money we will lose in the next four years. Does this sound familiar?

Lovely Rita, meter maid

I bet you I can guess what the most annoying thing about driving downtown is that drives everyone nuts – parking! I was right wasn’t I? It always seems that there is nowhere to park and when you do find that elusive spot, the dreaded meter maid is never far away. The other thing is, often the stupid meter only takes the change that you don’t have in your pocket or are those dumb ‘pay and display’ machines that are always miles away from the parking spot you took ages to find. The town of Eastbourne in the UK has decided to go all ‘high-tech’ with it’s new ‘secure and intelligent’ meters. Costing over $6,000 apiece, these meters include a number of clever options, including their own SIM card that can be used to call for help if anyone attempts to break one open. The new meters, called the Alfia 300 CI, are solar powered, and each is also covered by a CCTV system to catch anyone vandalizing the meter – as if anyone would. I have a better idea; well, not really me – it’s Kenny Everett’s, one of Britain’s funniest men of the 80’s (passed away now, unfortunately) – watch and enjoy.

Game on?

Well, that's that then. After 3 days with Halo 3 my son has finished the game on 'legendary' level. Seems a bit of a waste really. That's the trouble with these new heavily hyped game releases; over in a flash and then left in a corner somewhere. Some companies take advantage of the short life span of these 'blockbuster' games: e.g Electronic Boutique is already offering up to $50 in trade-in value. When asked if the game is a good as he thought, the answer was, 'it's OK, I guess', hardly a ringing endorsement. The main issue seems to be that there is a lot of 'glitz' and 'flash' in terms of eye-candy, but little gameplay depth. It's time for game designers to realize that the fun in in the GAME not the outward appearance and glossiness. I know that the real attraction of these games is the online play, but within a few weeks, if not days, there is something else and your favorite has vanished. Maybe it's just our modern world and the speed of change allied with a lack of attention span. As Gandhi said, 'there is more to life than increasing it's speed'.

She's a model

My son has just got into the world of plastic models (mainly cars) and has found, to his dismay, how expensive this hobby is. After the initial purchase, he found that the cost of supplies, paint and glue, escalated very quickly. If you have 'stuck' with me (pun not intended) from the start of my blog you may recall I mentioned card and paper models as a much more inexpensive modeling solution. Other than glue and scissors (liquid UHU is awesome) there isn't much more you need. Here is a really nice collection of nearly 50 spacecraft from Star Wars to the Muppet Show - Pigs in Space! I have made some of  these and the build quality is very good and most go together with little fuss - just take your time. Oh yes! They're FREE!!

Bad boys, bad boys, what'cha gonna do?

Well, this is indeed strange. The cartoon character Hello Kitty was first introduced by Japanese company Sanrio in 1974 and since then has been seen on a multitude of products such as stationery, hair accessories, kitchen appliances and electronics. Now here is something really unprecedented and, in my opinion, very counter productive. Police chiefs in the Thai capital, Bangkok, have come up with a new way of punishing officers who break the rules - an eye-catching Hello Kitty armband. The armband is large, bright pink and has a Hello Kitty motif with two hearts embroidered on it (ahhh!). From today, officers who are late, park in the wrong place or commit other minor transgressions will have to wear it for several days. The armband is designed to shame the wearer, police officials said. ‘This is to help build discipline. We should not let small offenses go unnoticed,’ Police Colonel Pongpat Chayapan said. ‘Guilty officers will be made to wear the armbands in the office for a few days, with instructions not to disclose their offenses. Let people guess what they have done’. According to the Colonel, further offenses would be dealt with using a more traditional disciplinary panel. What’s next? Make them sit in a corner facing the wall? Bad policeman! Bad! Bad! Bad!

Oh no! Not again!

This just goes to show that they are just as dumb in Europe as they are in North America. It’s another example of artificial intelligence against supposed human intelligence – or lack thereof. In Switzerland, a 37-year-old trucker followed his GPS instructions a little too closely when he drove his truck down a pedestrian walkway and wedged the delivery vehicle into a cherry tree. The driver, who was looking for a factory to drop off his cargo, blindly followed the female voice of his navigation system, apparently ignoring several no-entry signs and turning onto the walkway in broad daylight. The motorist then attempted to reverse out, damaging two lamp posts, a hedge, and of course the cherry tree, which Swiss workers later had to take a chainsaw to. The tucker was fined 650 Swiss francs (about $540) and, hopefully, given a brain transplant! One could say this was a tree-mendous story - maybe he should have branched off - sorry.

Missed me?

No, of course you didn't - you don't even care (sniff!). Well, whatever! I have a good explanation - I was in Niagara for a couple of days with my son. Boy, did we have fun. We visited the US for a years supply of Red Vines liquorice (don't ask - it wasn't my idea) , won $100 in the casino and took about 4 billion pictures of the falls. The down side was 3 hours trip home - it was awful, but he did the driving - bonus! By the way, tomorrow is my birthday - bet you don't care about that either. You rotten devils!

Keeping my head down

I'm going to keep a low profile today and try to keep away from the technical news. It's iPhone day south of the border and, quite frankly, I'm sick of it. iPhone this, iPhone that and iPhone everything else. Enough already! Yes, its the 'bee's knees' and better than sliced bread and the world's a better place now. Normal service will resume shortly. Do not adjust your set.

It's sum, sum, summertime

The fight between privacy and surveillance is ongoing, not only between countries and nations, but also on more personal levels. There are many stores that now provide various hardware devices to eavesdrop on your neighbors (spygadgetonline.ca) for 'fun' and 'profit'. However, now that it's summertime and the usual round of parties in the backyard has begun, you can listen in to the most private conversations without specialized equipment. Yes, it's a rant!

I am fed up with people that believe it's OK to keep their neighbors awake at all hours of the early morning. I don't want to listen to your music. raucous drunken laughter and inane conversations in the privacy of my house when I'm trying to sleep. It's amazing what you can hear out your window at three in the morning. It's amazing what you can see - certainly YouTube material. So, be careful what you say and do - someone may be listening and watching AND recording - you have been warned.

Communication issues?

It sounds like a Hollywood plot. A hacker has managed to penetrate one of the Pentagon's e-mail systems, leading officials to take up to 1,500 accounts offline. The e-mail system did not contain classified information relating to military operations. The Pentagon says it rebuffs hundreds of attempted attacks on its computer systems each day. US Defense Secretary Robert Gates said that a ‘variety of precautionary measures’ were being taken. He also said it was expected that the system would be online again very soon. However, officials are keeping close mouthed about the details - understandably so. Asked if his own e-mail account was affected, Mr. Gates said: ‘I don't do e-mail. I'm a low-tech person’. WHAT!! He’s the Defense Secretary and he doesn’t use e-mail? What nonsense is this? Either he’s an idiot or a liar – perhaps both. These people are in charge of the military of arguably the most powerful nation on Earth, and he’s ‘low tech’! The inmates are in charge of the asylum. Stop the World, I want to get off.

The new arrival

We have a new baby in the house. It arrived all shiny and blue - say what! No, don't get excited - it's a nice blue iMac. Yes, we are now bilingual - Windows and Mac - scary, ain't it? I must admit, it has been quite a time since I have used a Mac on a regular basis - good Lord - I remember running OS 6! The fact that it's an earlier model and rather outclassed by newer PC's is of no consequence - it just proves that the word 'obsolete' is completely overused and irrelevant. As long as the product works and gives you want you want - it's not obsolete. There are enough companies running on IBM's OS/2 and even DOS (remember that!).

Lazy days

I think I'll take time to smell the flowers, literally. I'm sitting here on my veranda watching the world go by and enjoying the spring (almost summer) air and the greenery in front of my house. Yes, I know, I'm still using my technology; sitting here typing on my laptop and expecting to talk to my sister in England using Skype and my new webcam. The point is, I'm not locked up in my house and not interacting with anyone else 'live'. My wife is gardening and my neighbors are out and conversation is flowing nicely. Hi there! The cat came to see what is going on - hey! Off the keyboard!

On a side note, Vista can be infuriating. I recently upgraded my Acer laptop and added RAM - boy, Vista is greedy. Anyway, my older webcam was not compatible, so I bought a new Logitech camera (I love their stuff) and proceeded to install it. Hmm! I did have sound, didn't I? Deleted the camera. reinstalled the latest sound drivers, reinstalled the camera - no sound. What the heck! Hey, here's an idea - let Windows look for the sound drivers - man, I'm clever. It all now works beautifully. Oops! Theres the call I was waiting for. Bye!

Random mental impulses

There’s never time to do it right, but always time to do it again.

Inside every large program is a small program trying to get out.

It’s morally wrong to allow naïve end-users to keep their money.

Abandon all hope, you who press Enter here.

Never test for errors you can’t handle.

If you think the problem is bad now, just wait until we’ve solved it.

Yummy 2

Oh! That plate of food you had to identify. Believe it or not, but it’s a USB hub and the smaller items are USB memory sticks. Those crazy Japanese, eh! I would advise you to check out their website but it’s all in ‘foreign’! www.solidalliance.com

Say what?

I know it may seem cruel, but I find so much entertainment with poorly translated instructions. In these days of automated proof readers, translation programs and the good old spell-checker how can this still happen? Read the instructions below for, of all things, a dish cloth. It is verbatim except for the one word at the bottom and you'll know what it is - I think that the writer just got fed up:

"Characteristics:

jie card dish cloth, the adoption imports the high class absorbs water the natural plant in sex fiber,combining to was processed by international advanced technique to make into, is material that excellent product to match the environmental protection, it is soft,absorbing water the dint strong,wring dry easily,after using only through use the cleaning of water, can immediately wash away cloth top dirty mark dust,convenience fleetness.

Use:

be applicable to put on the dean living room, kitchen and bath indoor and every kind of surface,include furniture,container.electris appliances,piano, car.dining table.ceramic tile.window slot.bathtub and superficial and dirty xO, dust in etc.in faucets and waters order.f**k to put on the wet putting on all can."

I don't think so...

I thought I had heard it all, but was I wrong. I have seen people do some strange things with their cameras (stop laughing at the back there!), but this goes into the realms of lunacy.

Many photographers will look for that one unusual or special shot and will, sometimes, go to great lengths to get just the image they need. One of the most useful but underused parts of a camera is the self timer. It enables you to sometime get unexpected and quite amazing results. I think its so nice that HP offer some tips for using this feature, but........boy oh boy. is this a humdinger - www.hp.com

'Your camera will take a photo while airborne. Try this several times and you'll end up with a photo unlike all the rest'.

Sure you will and a smashed camera to boot. What great advice - what a bunch of maroons!

Splish, splash

So far, dependence on GPS devices has resulted in more inconvenience than actual danger, but things took a turn for the worse earlier this month when a driver sent their Mercedes SL500 flying into a river, trusting the car's optimistic GPS guidance instead of the road signs warning of impending doom. Matters were made worse as the river was swollen from recent heavy rains, which caused the vehicle to be swept some 200 meters downstream before the driver was able to escape. While the driver emerged unscathed, the car unfortunately wasn't quite so lucky, remaining stuck in the river for a week after the incident and now believed to be a complete write-off (no kidding!).

Pop Quiz

What the $%#@# is this?

Bored, lost, need something to do?

Downloading and making paper models seems to be having a resurgence on the ‘net. Almost every conceivable item is available and many for free (gotta love that word). You want aircraft – we’ve got it! Tanks, dolls, buildings, boats, starships etc. All these and more are out there with all types of difficulties and standards. All you need is a colour printer, some nice heavy paper or card stock, a few simple items to put it all together and awaaaay you go. One of the best resources for free models is http://www.icebergbouwplaten.nl. Here you will find links everywhere to sites around the world, some all free, some with free samples. If you are into flying machines from balloons and gliders to the latest fighters and bombers, go to my favorite – http://www.fiddlersgreen.net – where you will find more than a hundred amazing creations. Unfortunately, most are not free, but worth every penny. Get out there and fold!